The Sound of Music LIVE! – A Review

Be on the safe side. Assume there are spoilers.

First, what it was not – a televised version of the 1965 Julie Andrews/Christopher Plummer film. No, this was a production of the 1959 theatrical musical, staged specifically for television. The live element meant sets and costumes could not be as lavish as a well-budgeted T.V. show. It was theatre, in that sense. Yet being televised meant actors had marks to hit for the benefit of the cameras. Stand there and look left so the director can get a close-up. An interesting hybrid of theatre and film, this production.

Let's talk about Carrie Underwood. She's not Julie Andrews, and that's okay. Her singing was fine. But her acting

Ghoh, it's like ripping off a band-aid

wasn't very good. Mostly wooden. An unfortunate drag on the production.

(I flatter myself in thinking I could play the role - had I the ability to stay on key when I sing. But I give myself too much credit – I would have severe breath control issues were I singing and bouncing on a bed simultaneously.)

Still, I enjoyed it. This televised theatre thing is pretty cool. I liked the sets. The magic of costuming was clear, from the elegance of Frau Schrader, to the journey of Maria.

Other thoughts about the broadcast (aka, what I would have live-tweeted):

Not feeling the lighting in the abbey for How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria. Folks seem to be in shadow.

So sorry the actors don’t get an audience's reaction. But thankful there's nothing akin to a laugh track

Lederhosen! And a dimpled chin! #Rolf

Seriously, I want to do the Landler at my wedding #firstdance

Church is a place of refuge. Or it should be

This Snickers commercial w/Kenny G is why I love Kenny G. He laughs at himself. Loudly.

Where do they put the boom mics in this type of production?

Oh, you betta cut to commercial after Climb Every Mountain

And the commercial has a Be Encouraged message. Nice follow-up Allstate. Nice.

Do love that SHN has commercials. Wanna see real theatre?

No Way to Stop It reminds me of South Pacific, You Have to Be Taught. Reminds me Rogers & Hammerstein were subversive. The Sound of Music movie seems tame in comparison.

Fast scene changes = great production design, no?

That clock bracelet? I'm giggling, Jack-In-The Box. Giggling.

I love their hats! (3^rd place winners of the festival)

Two different interpretations of Fraulein Schweiger (movie vs. this production). I like 'em both.

If you like The Sound of Music, watch this version once. Like a many adaptations, you'll be inspired to experience the source material.

See you at the theatre,

Avocado Smoothie

In a blender, blend,

1 ripe avocado

5 heaping tablespoons of vanilla yogurt

3 heaping tablespoons of sugar

12 ounces of soy milk

At least, that's what I think I did to produce the smoothie pictured. I tested and experimented and wrote down a recipe, which I promptly lost.

I've tried making the smoothie using silken tofu instead of yogurt. Drain, slice, cube, blend. Repeat the next day if you want another.

I didn't taste a difference between the tofu and the yogurt. I would tell you how much tofu I used, but I couldn't begin to fathom how to measure a sliced chunk.

I'm not inclined to regularly keep tofu or yogurt in the house. And avocado is itself a sort of creamy goodness; it really doesn't need any help.

So the current recipe is avocado, milk, and honey.

I'll have to see if there's a discernible difference between using dairy milk (which I had a craving for) and soy milk (which is what I normally drink). Right now, the 1% dairy works just fine.

It's the honey that's tricky. I'm trying to eat fewer simple carbs. But it seems to take more honey to get to the same sweetness as sugar.

Ah, well. The bad of too much sweet is balanced by the good of avocado right? Net: Zero.

Thanksgiving Shopping

Though Thanksgiving day shopping is arguably sacrilegious, I went out Thursday evening.

My mom wanted an iPod, and I was looking for a deal on a mini Keurig coffee maker. So in the morning, I poured over the newspaper advertisements, determining Best Buy and Target would be the stores for the goods.

We left the house at 5:40 to get to Best Buy for 6pm. Oddly, there were people milling about the entrance to the store. "Folks, please go to the end of the line," an exasperated security guard intoned. The line wound through the stereo installation car port and past the building. With flyer in hand, we walked to the end of the line.

We had a nice conversation with a school librarian as we waited. Once the doors opened, the line moved quickly. Plenty of staff were on hand to help us find what we wanted. The only pushing and shoving were accidental – big purses, shopping carts, and small aisles aren't a good mix.

Once we found the iPod, (or rather, a tag for a blue one), a case and Bluetooth speaker, we headed for the checkout line - another maze which wound through the large appliances section.

Profusely apologetic, the young man could not find the desired blue device. But as I had drilled my mom about her second, third, and fourth color choices, we were still able to walk out of the store satisfied with a lime green option.

We were home by 7:10, in time for me to buy 2 albums and a single from iTunes, transfer them to her iPod, and test out the Bluetooth speaker.

I arrived at Target at ~ 7:56pm, parking on the far side of the store by the senior center. I didn't have far to walk to get to the back of the line.

A man was handing out pamphlets,

 

 

explaining that people would be let in groups, the special TVs were all spoken for, Apple products could only be bought in the electronics section, and the check out line would wind through the beauty department.

I opened the pamphlet and was surprised to find a map of where to find the special deals. Is this de rigueur for Black Friday – er – Thursday shopping?

Happily, the coffee maker I wanted was in its regular section. Despite a long wait at the checkout (I was behind a man who had two 50" TVs and was signing up for a Target card), I was home by 9.

No promises I'll do it again next year –who knows where I'll be or what gifts I'll want to get. But this year, shopping Thanksgiving evening worked just fine. 

Thinkings and Such

A few things that have been on my mind. Or were on my mind when they first came about (i.e., Re #3).

Re: Once Upon a Time in Wonderland [SPOILER ALERT]

Alice's stepmom wanted her to meet Mr. Darcy's son. Mr. Darcy's. Son. Still giggling.

Re: KTVU Asiana Air gaffe

The more I think about the KTVU Asiana Air gaffe, the more I hear one of friends saying those pilots' names. Because we all have that uncle/cousin/grandpa/husband's friend who says such things.

I hear him say it, and, I'm not gonna lie to you Marge – it's funny. In a sigh and smile and shake your head kind of way. Because that's the type of person your uncle/cousin/grandpa/husband's friend is. And it's been said in private.

So for all my blustery upset-ness about it, the biggest problem was, upon reflection, that it was said in public. As if reading or saying the words didn't elicit the light chuckle, sigh, and shaking of the head. As if no one could discern it was a joke.

Re: Miley Cyrus

I saw her MTV VMA performance when it first aired. My initial reaction?

Wow. She's sexually vulgar. I am not surprised.

(Because she briefly worked a pole at a Kid's Choice Awards? performance several years ago. The devolution into overt sex-ness was already underway.)

Within the resultant hoopla, people were criticizing her dancing.

Wait, what? She was dancing?

Dear Google Maps App,

Los Angeles is a world-renowned city. Your map lady should know how to pronounce La Cienaga.

Sincerely,

People talk about the JFK assassination the way I'll likely talk about 9/11 on its 50^th anniversary. Such a searing of the national consciousness.

An LA Tour

I took a weekend to explore some of the areas where I'd seen apartments for rent. Mid-Wilshire/Koreatown and North Hollywood, to name a few. My itinerary was carefully planned.

First stop: 608 S Westlake

Traveling on the 101 & 170.

Hey, there's an exit for the Hollywood Bowl! Hey, there's the exit for Highland! Hollywood & Highland must be that way! Hey, there's Hollywood Towers! Looks like it could've been an inspiration for the Disney's Tower of Terror! Wow, there is absolutely no traffi…oop. Spoke too soon.

The exit I took had me driving towards Historic Filipinotown. I ended up going in circles (unsurprising), driving on Wilshire through MacArthur Park. On the map, this part of town is called Westlake. Not to be confused with Westlake Village in the Valley.

Next Stop: 333 S Catalina and 974 S Catalina

I took the surface streets.

<streetcar voice> Next stop, 3^rd & Vermont. Koreatown.

At the next stoplight

<streetcar voice> Next stop, 3^rd & New Hampshire. Little Bangladesh.

So this is Mid-Wilshire. Nice little area, with the more expensive apartments closer to 3^rd. I can appreciate the place.

Next Stop: 1025 N Serrano Ave

It took me forever to find this building – I was going in circles with the Apple map app. Then I was instructed to turn right on a street that only seemed to go left. . .

I should've started with Google Maps. She talks to me. And flashes instructions on the screen. Even if the phone is locked.

I'm not quite sure what part of the city I was in. But it added to my suspicion that I'm not up for LA city living at this point in my life. On to the

Next Stop: 7727 Lankershim and 6408 Lankershim

Back on the 170, past the Hollywood Bowl, to North Hollywood.

I've driven on Laurel Canyon once. It was lovely; lush foliage, the serenity of nature. I thought North Hollywood would be similar.

Au contraire, mon frère. I drove by a swap meet. A Swap Meet.

It was time for lunch.

Next Stop: Taste of Chicago

The restaurant is across the street from a shopping center. Parking is paltry; the bathrooms, accessed from outside with a key. I think the site might have previously been a gas station.

Polish dog with caramelized onions and mustard on a poppy seed bun. A Pelligrino instead of the always delectable root beer. Sitting in a sunny back corner of the restaurant, I could see the cars drive by on my right. To my left was a small, classy photo of the late Dennis Farina, a dear friend of the restaurant's owner.

It was my first polish dog without ketchup.

My day seems to be going pretty much as I had planned, I lamented to myself, having forgotten the morning's surprises. There seemed to be no adventure, nothing magical. My expectations were not blown, North Hollywood notwithstanding.

Next Stop: The Beverly Center

I took the surface streets.

I drove past the shopping center and

Is that the Warner Bros. Water Tower? Nah, I don't see the WB symbol, like on Animaniacs.

I look to my right.

Omigoodness, that's a studio entrance! Eyes on the road, don't get into an accident.

Upcoming on my left is a building with a mural. Robin from Teen Titans. And Superman. And Wonder Woman. And a load of other cartoon characters standing in front of the Justice League building.

<screams of delight>

Eyes on the road, eyes on the road

More studio entrances are to my right, and

As I come to the end of the street, I can read the words "Warner Bros. Studio" on the water tower.

<oddly, my screams sound like a cackling bird>

Calm down, don’t' get into an accident, you're going onto curvy road

Eventually, traffic begins to slow as I pass the Hollywood Bowl.

I'm driving by the Hollywood Bowl!

And then I come upon what looks to be some sort of mall and/or movie theatre. Which confuses me – I can't possibly be there yet. And why does it feel so touristy?

Because I'm on Hollywood Blvd. And I'm about to cross Highland. Where there's a Ripley's Believe or Not museum on one of the corners.

I'm at Hollywood & Highland!

It's not a big thing, but I never imagined I would be at Hollywood & Highland, even if only for a stoplight.

Or drive by the Hollywood Bowl. Or see the Warner Brothers Water Tower.

Expectations - -Poof.

One of Those Days

One evening, I decided to change the towel bar in the bathroom.

I know – normally this is a weekend kind of job. But changing a wall-mounted towel rack takes, what, an hour max? Surely it could be done on a weeknight.

Except the old towel rack was not typical. See, most racks you buy have hidden screws (the new one, in fact, has hidden screws). But when we remodeled the bathroom, I chose a rack that did not have this common feature.

So when I took the old rack down. . .

First the anchors for the screws (or were they mounting brackets?) dropped into the wall as I unscrewed the towel bar. Surprising how ominous the sound of something falling out of reach and out of sight is.

When the bar was completely off, there were holes in the wall. Not giant holes. Just big enough to forcefully shove a dime through.

The night now belonged to spackle. Off to Home Depot at 7:45 PM.

(7:45 at night might be when you're normally out and about. But I don't go out after dark unless it's with or for friends or family. You should probably stay off my lawn.)

Puttering along, I get pulled over by a cop. Which was slightly nerve racking, since I was issued a citation in December for almost hitting an officer while attempting a lane change (Driving While Extremely Tired). I did online traffic school and everything, but I can't get another hit on my record for something like a year or 18 months, so

I pulled over and he said something through the loudspeaker which I heard as "Move up, please" but then he said it again and it was actually "PULL INTO THE PARKING LOT" so I pulled my seatbelt back on while I slowly driving into one of the lesser known lots of the Hilton Hotel.

"I pulled you over because your headlight is out," he said, though he didn’t specify which headlight. Sitting for an unbearably long time as he took my license, registration, and insurance and (presumably) ran me several times through his SMOD*, I stared into the bushes. (It seemed uncouth to turn on the radio or play with my phone.)

I guessed it was the passenger side light, which I verified with him when he brought my stuff back and before he sent me on my way.

Challenge # 2 - a new headlight. I remember my dad changing one of the headlights on his car as we were on our way to his house one weekend. He changed it in the parking lot! So I should be able to change a headlight, right?

Plan A: Get instructions from the internet. Take light bulb out of car during lunch break. Drive to auto parts store after work, show them the light bulb, buy the replacement, go home, change light bulb, eat dinner.

Plan B: Get instructions from the internet. Drive to auto parts store after work, ask them the light bulb for my car, buy the replacement, go home, change light bulb, eat dinner

Plan B. Because the first set of instructions I found were rubbish, and by the time I found something useful, my lunch time was over.

I ended up buying two light bulbs; it seemed wise to have them both be spanking new. The change out took roughly an hour, with 58 minutes devoted to pushing the wire thing in and down to lock the new bulbs into place. You'd think after doing one, the second would be faster, but noooo.

My back was not amused. For several hours.

But, I was still able to install the new towel rack before bedtime. A victorious ending to one of those days.

  

*You'll have to watch the first 30 minutes of the Blues Brothers. Not Blues Brothers 2000. The Blues Brothers.

Bifocals Before 40

See, what had happened was

My eyes were hurting so I stopped wearing my driving glasses. And I had stopped wearing my reading glasses because the doctor said I didn't need them. Sure, I would get headaches after watching TV for more than 30 minutes at a time, but that was because I was tired and cranky and needed to eat something, right?

Now, my contact at the temp agency insisted I get health insurance. So I signed up for medical and vision – almost $30 bucks out of my paycheck. For an $11/hr job, that's not chump change.

(Come to find out the medical coverage does not qualify as the minimum under the new federal healthcare law. So I'm going to have to go to the exchange, which is irksome.)

One day my head was pounding, my eyes barely focusing as I drove doing errands. I made an eye doctor appointment for the same day.

Got the puffer test (ugh). Got my eyes dilated. In the initial examination, we learned my left eye is competent, while my right eye is jacked up (everything is blurry with that one). The doctor looked into my eyeballs with a flashlight, tried some stuff with the fancy lens machine, looked at the glasses I brought and determined

I didn't need new lenses. My driving glasses were of good prescription, as were my reading glasses. In other words, I should be wearing both.

Oh. Well, that's not bad news for a $10 visit. No new frames needed. Huzzah!

Settling down in front of the big TV, I realized it was at a distance, so I put on my driving (i.e., distance) glasses and

No headache. Fancy that!

And so all was well in the kingdom.

Until I tried to watch the big TV and crochet at the same time.

Settle into the big chair, get yarn into lap, put on distance specs, watch show. At commercial, take off distance specs, put on reading glasses, play with yarn. Show's back on – take off reading, put on distance, drop yarn work into lap.

Oh, that ain't working.

So it was back to the optometrist for bifocals.

Well, progressives. Because I looked at pictures of bifocals online and they were not aesthetically pleasing. After a few weeks of waiting...Ta-Da! 

 

That's right. All the bigger to hold more lens, my dear.

And that's how I got bifocals (er, progressives) before I turned 40.

Six Months a Temp

It's been little over six months since I started my current temp assignment. What began as a part-time position is now full-time. What was described as entering forms into a database has morphed into the same duties as the permanent admins.

The people remain lovely. And if I wanted to work there as a permanent employee, I could. But

It's not a good idea.

So the search continues for a potentially more satisfying job. I dissected what I enjoyed most in my previous positions, and concluded I should look for junior tech writer or business systems analyst openings. I seem to thrive in these roles.

Now, I don't think I misrepresent myself. But industry and I seem to have different understandings of what tech writers do. What would you call writing data entry reference guides for non-technical end users?

No, seriously. What would you call it? Because if I should to be looking for a different job title, I need to know.

I have had a couple of recruiters call. Encouraging – it's good to be wanted – but confusing. They seem to think it impossible to perform IT roles from outside of the IT department.

In the meantime, I've put everything (i.e., acting) on hold until I can get a better grip on the job front. Hopefully, I'll be able to do some sort of community theatre in the near-to-not-so-far future.

Ah, yes. The Joy of the Job Hunt.

Pom Juice Blends – A Review

There was a 50₵ off coupon for one of the new Pom Juice Blends. An open invitation for a taste test.

Pomegranate is the new cranberry, so it was only a matter of time before Pom (with its bubble bottle, arguably the most visible pomegranate juice maker) started mixing things up.

Regardless of which blend you drink, there is no doubt you are drinking pomegranate juice. The other flavors are discernible in varying degrees.

Pom Mango

40% Pom¹, 40% Mango Puree, according to the label. Based on the list of ingredients, the remaining 20% is 'pear juice and natural flavors'.

First thoughts after initial tasting: This could be good in a smoothie – chunks of mango, Pom Mango juice, yogurt, sugar. . .Hey, I wonder if it would taste different if I did one smoothie with regular Pom and the other with Pom Mango?

In small amounts, the mango is almost overpowered by the pomegranate. Drink more than a sake cup full, and eventually the mango flavor is lost to an acidic aftertaste that favors the pomegranate.

Pom Hula

50% Pom, 30% Pineapple Juice, according to the label. Based on the list of ingredients, the remaining 20% is 'apple juice and natural flavors'.

Was the word "pineapple" too long for the label? But, by calling it Hula, most expect there to be pineapple in it. Still counts as good marketing.

First thoughts after initial tasting: This might be good in a variation of a fruit punch – 7-up, Pom Hula, Rainbow Sherbet²

Huh. Sherbet only has one R. We've always pronounced it with two Rs (sher-bert). The things you learn from spell-check…

Though one can taste pineapple in a sake cup size sample, in larger quantities, it tastes like pomegranate with a sweet acidic nudge.

Pom Coconut

30% Pom, 60% Coconut Water, according to the label. Based on the list of ingredients, the remaining 10% is 'pineapple juice, natural flavors, and stevia extract'. Though, the ingredients also list 'pomegranate and pineapple juices', so I'm a little skeptical of the percentages.

First thoughts after initial tasting:  That's yummy coconut! What is that weird aftertaste?

Now, coconut water is the new açai which was the new pomegranate, so Pom's bringing it full circle with this one. The coconut flavor is strong, down to the nuttiness; I really liked it. But in small doses, the pineapple juice sneaks up and weirds out the flavor. (Makes me wonder why the pineapple's there.) However, in larger amounts, the aftertaste is primarily coconut.

Pom is 1:2 with these blends. Coconut nails it – the flavor is distinct, not masked by the pomegranate. Hula and Mango are disappointing. I wanted more than a hint of the respective flavors - especially mango, which is one of the major food groups³. Don't call it mango unless you mean it.

1. Pom is 100% Pomegranate Juice

2. The original fruit punch is 7-up, pineapple juice, and orange sherbet. And maraschino cherries in 7-up ice cubes. Of course, the variation should also have the 7-up ice cubes.

3. Other major food groups include ice cream, and bread

Cartoon Reviews

Beware the Batman (Cartoon Network)

Alfred is former MI-6? Yes! "Robin" is potentially a girl? Yes! The villains are pure Batman (odd, psychotic, misunderstood monsters, and/or ruthless) and offer ample challenge to Mr. Wayne. The animation is crisp and angular – almost an homage to the art deco styling of the early 90's cartoon.

There's a serial element to the show – A "previously, on Beware the Batman" montage is at the beginning of each episode. Yet thus far, the crime or danger of any given episode is always resolved. They're keeping us satisfied in the short term, and getting us to come back for more. A good addition to the DC Nation.

Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. (Disney XD)

This is the third show in Disney's Marvel Universe, joining Marvel's Avengers Assemble and Ultimate Spiderman (Spiderman works with Nick Fury? Say Whaaat?).

The set up: One of Hulk's friends wants to do a web series to prove to the world that The Hulk is not a monster. In the pilot, we learn how Red Hulk and A-Bomb came to exist, and meet She-Hulk and Skaar. Together, they are. . .see the title of the show

This Hulk is intelligent and aware – Bruce Banner really inhabiting his Hulk form. Though I am a bit surprised at Red Hulk's relative lunk-headedness, given his origin.

Later episodes will likely delve into Skaar's background; I hope they do the same for She-Hulk. From what I could gather, she's Hulk's sister, but the pilot expected us to accept her without any history.

Oh, and S.M.A.S.H. doesn't stand for anything. <sigh + eye roll>.

The web series device provides the opportunity for the characters to express their thoughts (directly to the camera) about the situation at hand. Intercut with the action sequences, it's a nice touch.

Awkward Moment

During the first wave of same-sex marriages in California, I was invited to the wedding of two lesbians. It was a beautiful day, a gorgeous location. Naturally, the brides glowed in their loveliness.

The ceremony began. As the first bride approached the last row of chairs, I stood. Because that's what you do when the bride walks down the aisle.

Everyone else remained seated.

Whaaa. . ??? Why didn't I get the memo?

I thought about sitting down before the second bride started down the aisle, but ruled it out. How rude would that have been, to stand for one person and sit for the other? I decided being disrespectful was worse than being ridiculous.

And let's be honest. I'm ridiculous more often than not.

Re: KTVU Asiana Airlines Gaffe

I'm still shocked no one at the station read the names and said, 'Hey, wait a minute. These names don't look or sound Korean.'

Because this is the Bay Area. It's not simply ethnically diverse; there's a diversity of Asians here.

So this journalistic entity,

an institution that has spent so much time in our neighborhoods,

still doesn't know some of the differences between Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Filipino, Thai, and whoever else I missed?

Shameful.

Embarrassing Moment #3

High School. A friend's house. Sitting on the couch, I go to hug one of my guy friends. . .and end up toppling over and landing on the floor. On top of him. Awk-ward.

Poor guy probably thought I had a thing for him. But it was an honest mishap of equilibrium and balance. Given my doltish frame, it's kind of amazing I don’t fall over more often.

The New Camera

My camera was so old, the largest memory card it accepted was 256MB. And to my dismay, when I tried to take pictures at a very important event, they were all blurry. Clearly, a new camera was in order.

I poured through the Consumer Reports and CNET Buyers Guides before going to a local camera shop. That didn't have any of the recommended models on my list. Unwilling to wait, I settled for the salesman recommended Sony Cyber-Shot. For the price, I chose the WX50 model.

As touted, this is a true point & click. It automatically adjusts for backlighting, indoors, night-time, etc. There's hardly a need to go to the menu.

Which is a good thing. Because you need 30 minutes and the User Guide to understand the menu. Though the Instruction Manual is good for setting the date and time, and figuring out where to put the memory card.

I could plug my old camera into the computer, open the appropriate folder, and cut & paste photos to my storage device. I could right click on an image and select "rotate clockwise" or "rotate counterclockwise". I only needed to remove the memory card from the camera when it was full.

Not so with the Sony Cyber-Shot. If I plug the camera into the computer to move images, they're protected. I can only copy. I have to edit the photo to rotate it.

Now, according to Sony, "Images stored in the internal memory of the camera are protected so they cannot be deleted from a computer. Images store in the internal memory must be deleted from the camera directly."

Um-Hm. I'm using a memory card, not the camera's internal memory. Even the camera recognizes I'm using a memory card. So. . .

For the convenience of cutting, deleting, or rotating using my computer, I must remove the memory card from the camera and put it into the computer. No big deal.

Except the way my laptop is physically configured on my desk, the memory card slot is obscured. My problem, I know. But since I never had to remove the memory card before, it's off-putting to have to do it now.

The camera uses a rechargeable lithium ion battery - no more buying souped-up Duracells or Energizers twice a month. But would it be difficult to recharge while on a trip to Budapest or Lake Victoria? Yes, you are welcome to help pay for me to research to the answer to this question. I'm on PayPal.

Would I recommend this camera? Nah. It's a good point & shoot, but it's taken me six months to resolve my out the cut/paste/rotate photo issues. I may be a technology late adopter, but I'm not dumb. It shouldn't be so difficult to do simple things.

DIY: The New Old Chair

It started like this

The bits of brown are what remain of a brown vinyl dark faux wood grain. I believe the chair is older than me – we've had it for as long as I can remember.

Then, came spray paint

This is the first item I've sprayed painted that's more than 1" high; the drips aren't a total surprise. But holding the spray can did a number on my hand. When I tried to write, my six looked like a zero; I couldn't properly hold the pen. It took at least an hour to regain the proper muscle control.

Finally, the seat cushion

I second guessed myself and ended up using less foam than I should've. Oh well.

Nonetheless, I'm pleased with the results.

The Invisalign Chronicles 5: Bye, Bye, Braces

After confirming I was happy with the results (I am), the buttons came off. These are small, tooth-colored studs that locked the succession of teeth-moving trays into place. Sort of like Legos, now that I think about it.

As cold as the water was, it was the cold steel (or aluminum) that shocked, hitting my teeth in surprisingly sensitive spots. Is that a sonic reaction with my fillings or is something else going on? Then came the acrid smell of burning metal. Is the instrument failing? If I open my eyes, will I see curling wisps of smoke? Hands clenched as discomfort seeped into pain. The procedure was too short to need a local anesthetic.

But once the buttons were gone, I could return to the days of grazing with impunity. My lips would no longer feel chronically dry. I could wear lipstick without it smearing on the plastic covering my teeth. Because there would be no plastic covering my teeth.

Except

As with all orthodontia, after the braces comes the retainer. In my case, a set of four retainers, the first of which will arrive in a week or so. Over the next six months, I am to wear my retainers 24/7. Except when I eat.

Just like my braces.

So toothbrush, floss, and paste stay in the purse. And continuous eating remains on hold.

<sigh>

Blue Nail Polish

Seems like stunning blue nail polish is all the rage. Stark, bold color, akin to the eye shadows of old. Wanting to be like the cool kids, I went to the store to buy myself some polish. I was drawn to this color, Precious Peacock

That's right. (poor photography aside,) It's green.

The Temporary Position

On the one hand, I work in a nice environment. The people are friendly and helpful, and there is always enough to do. More than enough. I've been busier in the past three weeks than I was from May – November of 2012. My exaggeration is slight.

On the other hand, I'm in the heart of a bureaucracy. There is paperwork everywhere, files, everywhere, things always getting processed or shifted or simply put away. The thrill of familiarity when you come across a piece of paper with a name - and the agony of wondering whether it was because you saw the file or were looking for the file.

The routine, never-ending nature of the work could kill me in the long term. But for now, it's a good resting place.

I'm in a play! Again!

Come see Pippi Longstocking, presented by the Civic Arts Stage Co. and playing at the Firehouse Arts Center in Pleasanton.

Why? Because I'm in it!

When? To see me on stage, get tickets for these dates/times:

Saturday, March 2, 7:30 pm

Sunday, March 3, 2:00 pm

Friday, March 8, 7:30 pm

Saturday, March 9, 2:00 pm

Tickets are available at firehousearts.org or the box office on 4444 Railroad Ave, Pleasanton.

What about mid-week school shows (i.e., Field Trip!)? I'll be on stage:

Thursday, March 7, 9:30 am

Thursday, March 7, 11:00 am

Contact Michelle Russo at mrusso@cityofpleasantonca.gov or call 925-931-4847 for more information about these shows.

And if these times don’t work for you, don't worry! There are other shows. Just go to firehousearts.org and pick a different date.

Hope to see you at the theatre!

The M.A.C. Consultation

Several weeks ago, I went to the M.A.C. store to get the real lowdown on the Nude Lip. It was something I wanted to try, but I had trouble finding the right shade that would work on me. Turns out what I had gotten from Target two days earlier is very similar to what was tested and purchased from M.A.C.

As she was ringing me up, the salesperson asked if I would be interested in coming back for an appointment with a make-up artist. Sure. With nude lips, the eyes are the focal point, so I figured I could learn how to make it all come together.

My appointment was today. As I approached the M.A.C. store, I heard loud music coming from the Center Stage of the mall. (Center Stage: where Santa & the Easter Bunny reside during their respective seasons.) I think the song was American Bandstand – or was it The Twist? No matter. The M.A.C. store had taken over. There were swing dancers and a kissing booth and make-up artists galore.

Uhhh…my consultation is in the store, right? Not in the midst of this loud hullabaloo? Away from all these people?

Wrong.

Because I had an appointment, I was moved to the front of the line and given the next available slot. My eyes were applied; I saw each step as it was put on. She even did a Smoky Eye, which may be more trouble than it's worth. But it looks a'ight.

My eyes, my eyes! Er, My eyelids, my eyelids!

Of course I bought the shadow palette(Veronica).

And some blush (Betty). (It's so hard for me to find a blush for the natural look. Yes, I'm aware some of you consider natural looking make-up to be an oxymoron.)

I'll be rocking the new look on the opening night of Pleasanton Civic Arts' Pippi Longstocking, Friday, March 1, 7:30pm at the Firehouse Arts Center.

(That's right. Shameless plug. My opening night's March 2^nd at 7:30pm. I'll also be onstage 3/3 (2pm), 3/8 (7:30pm) and 3/9 (2pm). Tickets are available at http://www.firehousearts.org/events/events-list.)

I might even try for a smoky eye.

Unemployment Weekend 1

Applied for a job.

It took roughly an hour and a half.

It's a temp position, which is what I want. Nothing permanent; nothing with the hint of permanence, or the expectation of permanence.

The company uses the Taleo system, so there's almost no chance my resume will get through.

For while I tailored the cover letter to include many of the key words of the job ad, I don't think I sufficiently changed my resume.

I should've taken three hours.

That's why job placement is now, more than ever, via friends and acquaintances. Resumes and cover letters must be modified to include key words that get you through as many system filters as possible. People who've work at the company for years probably can't get their resumes through the system. So if you know someone on the inside, you might be able to get an interview.

But because I don't have a specific field in mind, I have to modify every resume and cover letter I use in an application. It's not that I don't use the keywords as a guide, or even in my resume, but…I'm not used to writing for a machine. I'm not used to writing in a specific (and frankly, unknown) style just to prove I'm worthy of consideration.

It's disheartening.

Unemployment Day 1

The Temp Agency Interview

First, a video. Then a quiz on the video. Then a mountain of paperwork requiring signature, social security number, or both. I should order my free credit report.

Finally, the face to face with the account executive.

The Where Do See Yourself in 5 Years question didn't come up. Because it's a temp agency. More specifically, an agency specializing in temp-to-hire and direct hire positions, with a few temp assignments every now and again. For someone making a career change (and for someone with little experience in other fields) the agency might not be very helpful. Their clients are interested in candidates with experience.

Of course, the What Are You Looking For question was asked. Because it's a temp agency. And they need to know. And like the Where Do You See Yourself question, I don't know. I can make stabs. I can throw out possibilities. But I have no passion or driving desire for a particular vocation. Frankly, I'm not sure I ever did. I've been told this is normal, but

It sure doesn't feel that way.

I was sent a series of assessments, which I took at home. There were five tests – MS Excel, MS Word, MS Outlook, MS PowerPoint, and MS Access. I scored only 77% on the Excel test – the program I had used the most at work – followed by 80% on Word and Outlook, 93% on PowerPoint, and 90% on Access.

That's right. I scored the highest on what I used the least and the lowest on what I used the most. Plus I should've scored in the 90's for all the assessments except maybe Access. (The learning curve from Access 2003 to Access 2007 is steep. It seems I know less than before.)

So that was demoralizing.

On the plus side, the account exec gave me tips on how to improve my resume for marketing purposes. Turns out they need descriptions of what I did at the previous jobs. The summary of my leadership abilities is…uninformative.

Unemployment Day 7

The thing is, I've been going to the library. They've got Neil Gaiman's The Sandman, see, and, well…it's hard to job hunt when you're catching up on wonderful literature.

[I also read some Edgar Rice Burroughs (did you know he was American? I had no clue until I was looking at stamps one day. Thank you US Postal Service.), The Hound of the Baskervilles, the play Peter Pan; and I'm about to start MacBeth. (I'm quite behind on my Shakespeare. I've read none of the Kings except Lear, and only…well, more of the comedies than I had thought: Midsummer's, As You Like It, Taming of the Shrew, that one with Denzel and Keanu, when Ken & Em were married…Yea, I still have much to catch up on.)]

Now, my local library has all of main Sandmans (there are 10) except for A Game of You. And I'm trying to read them in order. So this past weekend I searched the Alameda and Contra Costa county library catalogs and found the book. In Fremont, Hercules, and Walnut Creek.

I wasn't going to go, but I don't want to buy the books yet, and I do want to read them in order, so

After breakfast and a shower, I headed out to the Walnut Creek library. The last time I saw the place it was the size of a double wide portable.

As Captain Von Trapp said, "That was very very very long time ago!"

I missed the turn for the library parking lot. So I turned at the next major intersection and then took the next right (which happened to be parking for the park next to the library and

Ended up about a minute's walk to a library entrance.

The place is gorgeous. There is artwork on the walls, hanging from the ceiling. The children's area is bright and red. Lots of metal plaques indicating who gifted these bookshelves or that artwork. There are chairs with little tables, should you need to rest you coffee cup or laptop. And a café. And big cushy chairs by windows.

But no ottomans.

Another thing that seemed lacking was the number of stalls in the first floor bathrooms. One is just a giant room, but the other only has two stalls, like the Kansas City airport. Still, it has this sink:

I know, right?

I read A Game of You in a big chair tucked in a corner by a window on the first level.

I hadn't thought about the second floor until I glanced at a map on my way to the bathroom. And since Fables & Reflections wasn't due back to my local library until the 19^th, and it was there on the shelf. . .I decided to read it. Upstairs.

Where there's a teen section, with a purple sectional curved in an 'S' and a computer area (replete with a bunch of teenagers. Magazines and non-fiction are housed there, along with cushy chairs and chairs with little tables. I opted for the collection of comfy chairs in the magazine section and came across this:

I know, right?

Of course I settled by the fire with my book. All I was missing was an ottoman and a cup of hot cocoa.

The Invisalign Chronicles 4: The Twos

At first, the next set of trays were hard to put on. They were tight, and they pinched a bit. They quickly felt not snug enough, particularly on my front teeth. I occasionally use my thumb to push the trays up (on my top teeth) or down (on my bottom teeth) farther. And I'm constantly trying to suck air bubbles out of them.

Yep. Just adding to my freak cred.

The Invisalign Chronicles 3: Buttons

When they said buttons, I imagined small mercurial silver discs, the size of the nub on the smallest pocket of a pair of blue jeans.

Instead, they're more like tiny studs. And they're the color of my teeth. Giving logic to the name  Invisalign.

I took ibuprofren before the appointment – I had been warned I would be in a bit of pain when I put my next set of trays in. The dentist decreed I would wear my practice trays for another week (the number 1s) before switching to my number 2s. After two weeks, I'd switch to the 3s, another two weeks, the 4s, another two weeks, the 5s, then a check-in appointment.

There was a bit of challenge getting the trays on with the buttons on my teeth. And a greater challenge getting them off. Of course, when one is determined to eat, a way will be found.

The Invisalign Chronicles 2: Vanity

The trays (I call them teeth), simply fit over your teeth. Like removable gold plated grills one could use to look like Li'l Wayne. Or is it Li'l Jon? Whoever says "yeah" in that Usher song.

One for the top, one for the bottom.

They're known as practice trays, and they come with a bleaching solution so you can get that thousand watt smile in the comfort of your own home.

I tried one application. At two 15 minute sessions, I took a double syringe looking thingy and squeezed dots of solution onto the trays, where my front teeth are. The squeezing mixes two different compounds together into the magic solution that works wonders.

In my case, the next day, I felt a tingle by my molars, where I had not applied the bleach. Considering that everyone, including the dentist, says my teeth are white, I feel no guilt in forgoing the treatment.

Apparently, people have trouble putting the trays on. But since I wore a night guard, the concept wasn't difficult. The biggest change was popping something onto my lower teeth.

Well, no, that's not true. The biggest change is not being able to eat as I normally would.

I can drink water with my "teeth" in. But I can't eat with them. The entire process? Take teeth out. Eat. Brush teeth (both real and trays). Floss. Put teeth back in. Not very conducive to my grazing habits.

As you can see, optimal wear time is 22 hours. Which leaves two hours for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Two hours. It takes me that long to eat breakfast on a lazy day Saturday. People lose weight wearing Invisalign.

As warned, I have a mild lisp when my "teeth" are in. My hope is that I can get past it, but so far I've been inconsistent. The S's give me the most trouble.

Allegedly, you only need to soak the trays in denture cleaner once a week. The rest of the time, you can scrub them with your toothbrush, after you brush your teeth. The residual toothpaste should be enough.

But after a few hours, the bad breath starts the sneak up.

Mints are okay. But you can't chew it when it gets to that super tiny size. You've got to let it completely dissolve in your mouth. Another adjustment.

The Invisalign Chronicles 1: Crooked Teeth

Years of clenching had brought on the inevitable – my formerly straight teeth had nudged to a perceptible crooked line. Time for braces.

(Apparently, only the dentist and I can see how crooked my lower teeth had become. And before I started this adventure, I didn’t' notice my front teeth – the two big ones – were slightly out of alignment.)

Now, I don't have the full set of Invisalign, but some (hopefully cheaper) shorter version. Theoretically, my life will revert to normalcy around June. The down side – if it doesn't work, I would've spent $3,000+ on fancy orthodontics.

There were pictures taken. And molds – four? six? Lots of biting down "normally". Which I found difficult, because I don't know what my normal bite feels like. I know when I clench. But on a regular, no stress, comfortable temperature day? I haven't a clue.

Still, it must've been good enough because a month later, the first set of trays came in.

Unemployment Day 2

My original plan was to get up as if I was going to work (5:25 am), and start looking through temp agency websites for some sort of income.

Instead, I slept in until 8am

Stretched, read the day's Our Daily Bread, used the bathroom

Finished The Sandman Vol 1: Preludes & Nocturnes

At breakfast at 9ish

Showered at 10ish

Finished up some temp agency stuff

And started reading The Sandman Vol 2

It's definitely a sweatpants sort of day.

I'm thinking tomorrow will be a similar trajectory.

A Cover Letter I Wish I Could Use For Reals

Dear Hiring Manager,

Has a brief scan of my résumé led you to wonder about my suitability for this position? Please, do not be alarmed. You are looking for someone to work for you temporarily; I am looking for somewhere to work temporarily. We have similar interests. This suggests a relationship worth pursuing.

Are you still a bit uneasy? Do you see me as over-qualified? Consider this: my apparent over-qualification may lead to a faster project completion time. Which converts to fewer hours you would need me – and less money you would spend to have me in the office. If part of your objective is reduced costs, I may be a part of your solution.

Of course, you may have other objectives. You may want someone who can converse easily with customers or employees (check), who is interested in doing a job well done (check), and who can write a coherent sentence without using text-speak (check).

Then again, you may see me as either under- or un-qualified. You need very specific skills or experience which I obviously did not comprehend from your advertisement. I sigh, cheeks red with embarrassment. May the next candidate be The One.

However, if you are comfortable with someone who is able to catch on quickly (check), you may want to take another look at my résumé. I might be what you need for such a time as this.

Thank you for your attention and (hopefully) your consideration,

Sincerely,

An Edem Update

So…what's going on with me?

On the work front, as of January 31^st, I will no longer be employed at EPIC (Edgewood Partners Insurance Center). It's time to move on from the world of commercial insurance. And in true Edem fashion, I have no idea what I will do next. I'm excited about this new chapter of my life – and a little nervous about how I'll pay my bills.

On the theatre front, I stage managed my first musical, Puss in Boots. In March, I'll be onstage as Mrs. Settergren in Pippi Longstocking. The dates and times you can see me are:

Sat, Mar 2, 7:30pm

Sun, Mar 3, 2:00pm

Fri, Mar 8, 7:30pm

Sat, Mar 9, 2:00 pm

Tickets are currently available online (http://www.firehousearts.org/events/events-list) or at the Firehouse Arts Center Box Office in downtown Pleasanton.

On the health front, years of knashing my teeth have resulted in disalignment. Into braces (Invisalign) I go – look for future blog posts about this adventure.

On the hobby front, I've got one scarf on the knitting needles, and another on the crochet hook. I've sewn my second prototype eyeglass case and hope to get a phone case prototype out in the next two months. That's right. Keeping it crafty.

On the family front, my sister recently married. The beautiful, intimate ceremony and reception was a portrait of the Church – people loving each other and praising God. Good times. Good. Times.

Yep. Not much going on with me. Just a year of Hope and Change.

Travelogue Florida: Disneyworld

DisneyWorld includes four theme parks, Downtown Disney, a boatload of hotels and resorts, a wedding pavilion, golf courses, and a transportation system (bus and monorail) that connects most of it together.

It's massive.

If you're staying at a Disney resort or hotel, you can use Disney Magical Express to get to and from the airport. It's a tour bus with little tvs that will tell you about some of the theme park attractions. I had all carry-on, but they'll take your checked bags directly to your room when you arrive. Oh, and Southwest flyers - they'll print your boarding pass for ya'. Oh yes. Disney knows what it do.

I stayed at the Old Key West Resort, a collection of condos and vacation homes surrounding a golf course. It's so big, I was driven to my room in the concierge golf cart. There are several bus stops in the resort, so when you want to get to Downtown Disney or EPCOT center, just go to the nearest bus stop and wait for your bus. Which is like riding a city bus. Only it's clean. And they call it a motor coach.

EPCOT

I spent most of my time on the science-y side (there's also a side with country-themed pavilions) After two rides (an exploration of human's innovation, narrated by Dame Judi Dench and an ode to imagination featuring Eric Idle), I thought, The British have invaded. Again.

But then I went on a space mission ride narrated by Gary Sinise. There are two versions – one that doesn't spin (green) and one that does (orange). The orange version can be so intense for some, there are barf bags. On the ride.

Despite having eaten half a pretzel, I took the orange.

Though I didn't feel any spinning, I did, however, follow the directions – keep your eyes open and face forward. Fighting my initial impulse to close my eyes probably made all the difference. Super fun. I recommend it.

The fireworks show, however, was disappointing. Not the fireworks themselves – they were cool. But there was a giant globe that seemed to float in air (cool) and stop at point that was difficult to see from where we were standing (not cool). If you're going to tout your show as being visible from all vantage points, then please make sure all vantage points are equally spectacular.

After the initial barrage of fireworks (and fire – mmm, heat!) there was a lot of talk. Something something something, we're all human so we shouldn't hate each other, something something something, images on the cool globe keep changing something something something ooh, fireworks, more talking, peace on earth, something something something hey the globe is opening! That's cool. More fireworks are they going to bring back the fire again? 'cause I'm cold. More talking something something something fireworks fireworks the end.

Underwhelming. Perturbingly uncharacteristic for Disney.

Disney Hollywood Studios

I saw three of the six live shows – Fantasmic (basically the same as what you see in Disneyland), Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular (not bad) and Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show (my favorite). It was all about stunt car driving. They literally burn rubber, and they show you some of the tricks. Geek!

Only go on the Studio Backlot Tour if you need to take up 40 minutes until your next thing. The best thing about it is the end, where you can go into the AFI Film Institute thingy and see costumes and props from various movies.

Walt Disney, One Man's Dream, an interesting movie that's not too rah rah. I wanted to get my hands on classic Mickey Mouse cartoons after I had seen it.

The Great Movie Ride puts favorite movie scenes and genres on animatronic display, with some bearable cheese from the guides. I was pleased that the Wizard of Oz Munchkin Land display included the frowny one from the Lollipop Guild.

Star Tours is always lovely, we skipped the Tower of Terror, and Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith is, literally, a blast.

If I ever go back to Disney Hollywood Studios, I want to eat at the 50's Prime Time Café. The Dick Van Dyke show was on a black & white tv in the waiting area. And to the left was an area that looked like a 1960s family room. Totally geeked on the décor.

Magic Kingdom

For those of you who know DisneyLand by heart, Magic Kingdom will throw you for a bit of a loop. Things are in the wrong place, or not there at all. And there are things that are there that aren't in DisneyLand.

Now, the Lands are all in the right place. But there's no corn dog cart. There's no Scary Adventures of Snow White, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, or Matterhorn. It's Prince Charming's Carousel (not King Arthur's), Cinderella's Castle (not Sleeping Beauty's), the Tomorrowland Speedway (not Autotopia), and Liberty Square (not New Orleans' Square). The Winnie the Pooh ride is in Fantasyland (not Frontierland), and Pirates of the Caribbean is in Adventure Land (not New Orleans' - er - Liberty Square). A bit disconcerting.

But they still have the Swiss Family Robinson Tree House, the People Mover, and Walt Disney's Carousel of Progress (which I didn't get to go on, but will go back to Florida just so I can understand why my friend thinks it's so horrendous. I predict I'll love it.)

They're adding a Snow White Mine Ride (rollercoaster) and some sort of Rapunzel thing (we saw the tower). Oh, and Peter Pan has fast passes. Genius. Whadup, DisneyLand?

Most importantly, there is a place in Liberty Square that sells funnel cake. I know, right?

Animal Kingdom (Resort)

We had dinner at Sanaa, in the Animal Kingdom resort. While waiting for your table, you can go out on the patio and watch animals chilling. Wildebeasts and warthogs and what not.

The food is Indian-inspired. The waiter asks if anyone has food allergies, and then the chef comes to discuss with the allergy prone what can and cannot be eaten.

It's a cool place. The food is good. They sing the Stevie Wonder version of Happy Birthday and know how to end it. They make sure the food doesn't kill you. They have five types of Rooibus tea. And you can watch animals while you're waiting for your table. Using night goggles when it's dark.

Yep. I need to start planning my next trip.

Travelogue: Florida in December

The Lost Tweets or What I would've Tweetbooked if I wasn't too cheap buy airplane Wi-Fi and/or having too much fun to update my status every two seconds

There's no line at security. NONE. I'm totally disconcerted.

Ah, man! I picked the one with the full body scanner. #Fail.

Thank goodness for Starbucks Gift Cards – vacation on the cheap.

Wait – why do you need to put "No Sodium" on your bottled water?

Why, I do believe I want a t-shirt that says Hella Tight. Only I want the "Tight" to be right-side up.

SkyMall: Destroying Men's Fashion one shirt at a time

 

Phoenix needs to update their bathrooms so you can easily maneuver carry-on luggage. A la Oakland.

The luggage that rolls multiple ways? Totally worth it.

Delays leaving Phoenix. This man cranky about the delays is more irritating than a bratty kid.

Look – you're in an airport with the intention of boarding an airplane. Expect Delays. It's the Holidays. Expect Delays. It's a Friday. Expect Delays. Don't be cranky. That's what fancy phones and tablets and books are for. Delays.

Lorna Doone 100 calorie shortbread crisps. No high fructose corn syrup. 0g trans fat. Sugar and Palm Oil are the 2^nd and 3^rd ingredients, respectively. Imagine that. Diet food with sugar.

Oop – there's the funky aftertaste. I'm blaming the dextrose.

Forgot my Airborne chewables <sigh>

Oh! There's a Hyatt in the Orlando Airport. How did I miss that last time?

Finished a 25oz bottle of water. Normally, it takes me 2 days to finish a 20 oz bottle. Somebody's dehydrated.

Of course I get lost going to the bus stop, map in hand.

Bus to EPCOT is like a city bus. Except you're in a resort. And the bus isn't nasty. And they call it a motor coach.

Really, Florida? Why you gotta have a SoCal winter while I'm here?

Grown man in mouse ears. Pirate mouse ears.

Main Street Electrical Light Parade still includes Pete's Dragon. And that funky music.

Swiss Family Robinson Tree House!

Wait – Pirates of the Caribbean is in the wrong place.

Camouflage jumpsuit that at first glance looks like a blanket sleeper. Only a teenage boy in the Magic Kingdom.

DisneyWorld and DisneyLand are in both Orange County. Tee Hee.

Ohhh. So the Hollywood part of California Adventure is supposed to be a mini version of Disney Hollywood Studios. Got it.

The street that's supposed to be San Francisco isn't right. And I don't know San Francisco very well.

Where can I get some of the old Mickey Mouse cartoons? Steam Boat Willie through 1983 Mickey's Christmas Carol, please.

Funnel Cake!

B14. Yes!

Stick with me, kid, and you'll always be the spy on Star Tours.

And A52? Whaaa?

Is the Kansas City Airport (or at least the part where Southwest lands) under construction? Because my oh my. Be careful or you'll exit and have to go through security again.

Only two stalls in the women's bathroom? Whaddup, KC?

Wait – did I just miss the chance to have Kansas City BBQ by ordering pork sliders instead?

I would totally take an all expenses paid stay at DisneyWorld and write about it for some one. Hotel by hotel, even. (you should read that last sentence as Snagglepuss. Or Hollywood Squares' Paul Lind)