A Trip to the Beach

I took a route through the Santa Monica Mountains, putting along in fourth gear, winding through several short tunnels,

past a winery,

It's Livermore South! Or Sonoma County...
(Malibu Rocky Oaks Estate Vineyards)

to the PCH. Pacific Coast Highway. Northbound, to the Zuma Beach exit, which took me down and around and under the highway to the ocean.

The day was overcast, beautifully complementing the grey blue green of the ocean.

There were teenagers/young adults playing volleyball in their bikinis, families with tents and blankets reposing on the sand, surfers, wet suits zipped, strolling to the water.

As I walked to what would be my resting spot, a flock of kids* in black swimsuits swarmed into the water. I was nearing the main life guard station, where men in that familiar BayWatch red stood observing and commenting among themselves. The kids in black swam to a buoy and back to shore, picking up their knees in a high goose step as they waded through the surf. Lifeguard Trainees, perhaps?

I settled in, unpacking my chair, putting water in the cup holder, perching my reading glasses on my nose.

It was cold.

Out came the beach towel to do duty as a blanket; up went the hood of my hoodie; into the sand I dug my toes. Now I was ready.

Like a Boss...who left her bifocals at home

I finished reading The Little White Bird (the first novel where Peter Pan appears), as kids played in the surf and surfers tried to catch waves (Unfortunately, surfing conditions were terrible.) A young man from one of the groups camped nearby went out to where the waves were cresting, boogie board in hand (the boogie board/body surfing conditions seemed excellent**).

A helicopter, which had flown by earlier, made another pass. And another. And another, getting closer not only to the shore, but to those of us sitting there.

Hello!

 Yep. My spot to relax was in front of the Sheriff Department's helipad.

The kids in black once again swarmed to the water, this time with bright yellow buoys.

And flippers. They goose-stepped into the surf, flippers in hand, slung their buoys over their shoulders and dived into the ocean.

As they came ashore, two (or was it three?) peeled off from the group and headed towards my stretch of beach. One stood on the shore and held his buoy in the air, like a signal. The other(s) went back into the water. I realized they were surrounding the young man who had gone out with his boogie board. All were able to swim safely back to shore, though the young man's board was no longer tethered to his wrist. It was several feet away, being pushed and pulled as the tide came in.

Those were no trainees.

I won't be getting rescued from the water by any handsome, well-cut lifeguards   ever. Because that water is cold.

Though still overcast, the air began to warm. I pulled my toes from beneath the sand; the sand itself was comfortable and cozy. My nose had become accustomed to the salty ocean scent, my ears to the rhythm of the waves.

I think I know where I might spend the 4^th of July.

*These would be teenage/young adult kids, not elementary age or toddlers. Though some did look like they could've been in 8^th grade.

**I know little to nothing about boogie or body boarding. Or surfing for that matter. But the waves seemed just big enough to be thrilling with those short boards, but far too small to stand up and ride on a surf board.

An LA Tour

I took a weekend to explore some of the areas where I'd seen apartments for rent. Mid-Wilshire/Koreatown and North Hollywood, to name a few. My itinerary was carefully planned.

First stop: 608 S Westlake

Traveling on the 101 & 170.

Hey, there's an exit for the Hollywood Bowl! Hey, there's the exit for Highland! Hollywood & Highland must be that way! Hey, there's Hollywood Towers! Looks like it could've been an inspiration for the Disney's Tower of Terror! Wow, there is absolutely no traffi…oop. Spoke too soon.

The exit I took had me driving towards Historic Filipinotown. I ended up going in circles (unsurprising), driving on Wilshire through MacArthur Park. On the map, this part of town is called Westlake. Not to be confused with Westlake Village in the Valley.

Next Stop: 333 S Catalina and 974 S Catalina

I took the surface streets.

<streetcar voice> Next stop, 3^rd & Vermont. Koreatown.

At the next stoplight

<streetcar voice> Next stop, 3^rd & New Hampshire. Little Bangladesh.

So this is Mid-Wilshire. Nice little area, with the more expensive apartments closer to 3^rd. I can appreciate the place.

Next Stop: 1025 N Serrano Ave

It took me forever to find this building – I was going in circles with the Apple map app. Then I was instructed to turn right on a street that only seemed to go left. . .

I should've started with Google Maps. She talks to me. And flashes instructions on the screen. Even if the phone is locked.

I'm not quite sure what part of the city I was in. But it added to my suspicion that I'm not up for LA city living at this point in my life. On to the

Next Stop: 7727 Lankershim and 6408 Lankershim

Back on the 170, past the Hollywood Bowl, to North Hollywood.

I've driven on Laurel Canyon once. It was lovely; lush foliage, the serenity of nature. I thought North Hollywood would be similar.

Au contraire, mon frère. I drove by a swap meet. A Swap Meet.

It was time for lunch.

Next Stop: Taste of Chicago

The restaurant is across the street from a shopping center. Parking is paltry; the bathrooms, accessed from outside with a key. I think the site might have previously been a gas station.

Polish dog with caramelized onions and mustard on a poppy seed bun. A Pelligrino instead of the always delectable root beer. Sitting in a sunny back corner of the restaurant, I could see the cars drive by on my right. To my left was a small, classy photo of the late Dennis Farina, a dear friend of the restaurant's owner.

It was my first polish dog without ketchup.

My day seems to be going pretty much as I had planned, I lamented to myself, having forgotten the morning's surprises. There seemed to be no adventure, nothing magical. My expectations were not blown, North Hollywood notwithstanding.

Next Stop: The Beverly Center

I took the surface streets.

I drove past the shopping center and

Is that the Warner Bros. Water Tower? Nah, I don't see the WB symbol, like on Animaniacs.

I look to my right.

Omigoodness, that's a studio entrance! Eyes on the road, don't get into an accident.

Upcoming on my left is a building with a mural. Robin from Teen Titans. And Superman. And Wonder Woman. And a load of other cartoon characters standing in front of the Justice League building.

<screams of delight>

Eyes on the road, eyes on the road

More studio entrances are to my right, and

As I come to the end of the street, I can read the words "Warner Bros. Studio" on the water tower.

<oddly, my screams sound like a cackling bird>

Calm down, don’t' get into an accident, you're going onto curvy road

Eventually, traffic begins to slow as I pass the Hollywood Bowl.

I'm driving by the Hollywood Bowl!

And then I come upon what looks to be some sort of mall and/or movie theatre. Which confuses me – I can't possibly be there yet. And why does it feel so touristy?

Because I'm on Hollywood Blvd. And I'm about to cross Highland. Where there's a Ripley's Believe or Not museum on one of the corners.

I'm at Hollywood & Highland!

It's not a big thing, but I never imagined I would be at Hollywood & Highland, even if only for a stoplight.

Or drive by the Hollywood Bowl. Or see the Warner Brothers Water Tower.

Expectations - -Poof.

Travelogue Florida: Disneyworld

DisneyWorld includes four theme parks, Downtown Disney, a boatload of hotels and resorts, a wedding pavilion, golf courses, and a transportation system (bus and monorail) that connects most of it together.

It's massive.

If you're staying at a Disney resort or hotel, you can use Disney Magical Express to get to and from the airport. It's a tour bus with little tvs that will tell you about some of the theme park attractions. I had all carry-on, but they'll take your checked bags directly to your room when you arrive. Oh, and Southwest flyers - they'll print your boarding pass for ya'. Oh yes. Disney knows what it do.

I stayed at the Old Key West Resort, a collection of condos and vacation homes surrounding a golf course. It's so big, I was driven to my room in the concierge golf cart. There are several bus stops in the resort, so when you want to get to Downtown Disney or EPCOT center, just go to the nearest bus stop and wait for your bus. Which is like riding a city bus. Only it's clean. And they call it a motor coach.

EPCOT

I spent most of my time on the science-y side (there's also a side with country-themed pavilions) After two rides (an exploration of human's innovation, narrated by Dame Judi Dench and an ode to imagination featuring Eric Idle), I thought, The British have invaded. Again.

But then I went on a space mission ride narrated by Gary Sinise. There are two versions – one that doesn't spin (green) and one that does (orange). The orange version can be so intense for some, there are barf bags. On the ride.

Despite having eaten half a pretzel, I took the orange.

Though I didn't feel any spinning, I did, however, follow the directions – keep your eyes open and face forward. Fighting my initial impulse to close my eyes probably made all the difference. Super fun. I recommend it.

The fireworks show, however, was disappointing. Not the fireworks themselves – they were cool. But there was a giant globe that seemed to float in air (cool) and stop at point that was difficult to see from where we were standing (not cool). If you're going to tout your show as being visible from all vantage points, then please make sure all vantage points are equally spectacular.

After the initial barrage of fireworks (and fire – mmm, heat!) there was a lot of talk. Something something something, we're all human so we shouldn't hate each other, something something something, images on the cool globe keep changing something something something ooh, fireworks, more talking, peace on earth, something something something hey the globe is opening! That's cool. More fireworks are they going to bring back the fire again? 'cause I'm cold. More talking something something something fireworks fireworks the end.

Underwhelming. Perturbingly uncharacteristic for Disney.

Disney Hollywood Studios

I saw three of the six live shows – Fantasmic (basically the same as what you see in Disneyland), Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular (not bad) and Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show (my favorite). It was all about stunt car driving. They literally burn rubber, and they show you some of the tricks. Geek!

Only go on the Studio Backlot Tour if you need to take up 40 minutes until your next thing. The best thing about it is the end, where you can go into the AFI Film Institute thingy and see costumes and props from various movies.

Walt Disney, One Man's Dream, an interesting movie that's not too rah rah. I wanted to get my hands on classic Mickey Mouse cartoons after I had seen it.

The Great Movie Ride puts favorite movie scenes and genres on animatronic display, with some bearable cheese from the guides. I was pleased that the Wizard of Oz Munchkin Land display included the frowny one from the Lollipop Guild.

Star Tours is always lovely, we skipped the Tower of Terror, and Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith is, literally, a blast.

If I ever go back to Disney Hollywood Studios, I want to eat at the 50's Prime Time Café. The Dick Van Dyke show was on a black & white tv in the waiting area. And to the left was an area that looked like a 1960s family room. Totally geeked on the décor.

Magic Kingdom

For those of you who know DisneyLand by heart, Magic Kingdom will throw you for a bit of a loop. Things are in the wrong place, or not there at all. And there are things that are there that aren't in DisneyLand.

Now, the Lands are all in the right place. But there's no corn dog cart. There's no Scary Adventures of Snow White, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, or Matterhorn. It's Prince Charming's Carousel (not King Arthur's), Cinderella's Castle (not Sleeping Beauty's), the Tomorrowland Speedway (not Autotopia), and Liberty Square (not New Orleans' Square). The Winnie the Pooh ride is in Fantasyland (not Frontierland), and Pirates of the Caribbean is in Adventure Land (not New Orleans' - er - Liberty Square). A bit disconcerting.

But they still have the Swiss Family Robinson Tree House, the People Mover, and Walt Disney's Carousel of Progress (which I didn't get to go on, but will go back to Florida just so I can understand why my friend thinks it's so horrendous. I predict I'll love it.)

They're adding a Snow White Mine Ride (rollercoaster) and some sort of Rapunzel thing (we saw the tower). Oh, and Peter Pan has fast passes. Genius. Whadup, DisneyLand?

Most importantly, there is a place in Liberty Square that sells funnel cake. I know, right?

Animal Kingdom (Resort)

We had dinner at Sanaa, in the Animal Kingdom resort. While waiting for your table, you can go out on the patio and watch animals chilling. Wildebeasts and warthogs and what not.

The food is Indian-inspired. The waiter asks if anyone has food allergies, and then the chef comes to discuss with the allergy prone what can and cannot be eaten.

It's a cool place. The food is good. They sing the Stevie Wonder version of Happy Birthday and know how to end it. They make sure the food doesn't kill you. They have five types of Rooibus tea. And you can watch animals while you're waiting for your table. Using night goggles when it's dark.

Yep. I need to start planning my next trip.

Travelogue: Florida in December

The Lost Tweets or What I would've Tweetbooked if I wasn't too cheap buy airplane Wi-Fi and/or having too much fun to update my status every two seconds

There's no line at security. NONE. I'm totally disconcerted.

Ah, man! I picked the one with the full body scanner. #Fail.

Thank goodness for Starbucks Gift Cards – vacation on the cheap.

Wait – why do you need to put "No Sodium" on your bottled water?

Why, I do believe I want a t-shirt that says Hella Tight. Only I want the "Tight" to be right-side up.

SkyMall: Destroying Men's Fashion one shirt at a time

 

Phoenix needs to update their bathrooms so you can easily maneuver carry-on luggage. A la Oakland.

The luggage that rolls multiple ways? Totally worth it.

Delays leaving Phoenix. This man cranky about the delays is more irritating than a bratty kid.

Look – you're in an airport with the intention of boarding an airplane. Expect Delays. It's the Holidays. Expect Delays. It's a Friday. Expect Delays. Don't be cranky. That's what fancy phones and tablets and books are for. Delays.

Lorna Doone 100 calorie shortbread crisps. No high fructose corn syrup. 0g trans fat. Sugar and Palm Oil are the 2^nd and 3^rd ingredients, respectively. Imagine that. Diet food with sugar.

Oop – there's the funky aftertaste. I'm blaming the dextrose.

Forgot my Airborne chewables <sigh>

Oh! There's a Hyatt in the Orlando Airport. How did I miss that last time?

Finished a 25oz bottle of water. Normally, it takes me 2 days to finish a 20 oz bottle. Somebody's dehydrated.

Of course I get lost going to the bus stop, map in hand.

Bus to EPCOT is like a city bus. Except you're in a resort. And the bus isn't nasty. And they call it a motor coach.

Really, Florida? Why you gotta have a SoCal winter while I'm here?

Grown man in mouse ears. Pirate mouse ears.

Main Street Electrical Light Parade still includes Pete's Dragon. And that funky music.

Swiss Family Robinson Tree House!

Wait – Pirates of the Caribbean is in the wrong place.

Camouflage jumpsuit that at first glance looks like a blanket sleeper. Only a teenage boy in the Magic Kingdom.

DisneyWorld and DisneyLand are in both Orange County. Tee Hee.

Ohhh. So the Hollywood part of California Adventure is supposed to be a mini version of Disney Hollywood Studios. Got it.

The street that's supposed to be San Francisco isn't right. And I don't know San Francisco very well.

Where can I get some of the old Mickey Mouse cartoons? Steam Boat Willie through 1983 Mickey's Christmas Carol, please.

Funnel Cake!

B14. Yes!

Stick with me, kid, and you'll always be the spy on Star Tours.

And A52? Whaaa?

Is the Kansas City Airport (or at least the part where Southwest lands) under construction? Because my oh my. Be careful or you'll exit and have to go through security again.

Only two stalls in the women's bathroom? Whaddup, KC?

Wait – did I just miss the chance to have Kansas City BBQ by ordering pork sliders instead?

I would totally take an all expenses paid stay at DisneyWorld and write about it for some one. Hotel by hotel, even. (you should read that last sentence as Snagglepuss. Or Hollywood Squares' Paul Lind)

Observations from the Road

Some notes about my recent vacation, when I visited usually sunny Southern California.

I had a headache from the morning's decaf white tea, but no problems with the lunchtime Dr. Pepper or dinnertime sweet tea. Is there something to be said for caffeine quality?

I put my credit card in the machine at a Mobil gas station. The machine asked Debit Card >Y/N< ?


Not

Debit Card?
Y
N

where you can pick the appropriate button on the side, but

Debit Card >Y/N< ?

with everything on one line. I couldn't figure out which button to push, so I got gas at Chevron instead.

The trailer of a big rig said "Jesus Christ is Lord not a swear word". Schweet.

At the Getty, there's a sculture called Moving Flower. Designed in the 50's and construted in the 80's, is sits on a small lawn of unkempt grass. It was the grass which struck me. Amid the precisely manicured gardens of the Getty is this tangled, messy mass. I liked the grass more than the sculpture.

DisneyLand! Indiana Jones was closed all day. The corn dogs are large and a bit oily and very good. The re-instituted submarine ride can be scary for little kids. And Captain Eo is still cheesy, made all the more so by the wonderous absoluteness of it being made in 1986. The hair. The make-up. The rainbow t-shirt.

A tip for infrequent visitors (like me): Don't put your bag on the floor when riding Pirates of the Caribbean. It will get wet.

California Adventure! My first time! Toy Story Midway Mania closed. Too tired for Screamin' over California; too long a wait for Tower of Terror (a ride built on my least favorite aspect of a roller coaster - the drop). Soaring over California was well worth the wait, and was the only ride for which we needed a fast pass.

Surprised to see a full service Union 76 station in Venice. Thought such things were extinct in California.

Is that drizzle? You gotta be kidding me!

Only took 1.5 hrs to get from Venice to Simi Valley during rush hour traffic. A pleasant surprise.

Am the proud owner of a Ventura County Library card. Anytime I'm in Simi Valley, I can use the computers at the library.

When the metering lights are on in Simi Valley, they often stay green.

Saw two movies, $3 each. Toy Story 3 (worth the $8.50 I would've paid for a matinee at home) and The Last Airbender (worth $3). The latter was better than I expected. Much to the chagrin of US critics, however, installments 2 & 3 must be made. I need to see how they finish the adaptation of one of my favorite tv shows, Avatar, The Last Airbender.

Goats are not afraid of heights. They are quite comfortable traipsing across wooden walkways 2 stories off the ground. The things you learn when you visit a farm.