Wednesday, January 23, 2013

A Cover Letter I Wish I Could Use For Reals


Dear Hiring Manager,

Has a brief scan of my résumé led you to wonder about my suitability for this position? Please, do not be alarmed. You are looking for someone to work for you temporarily; I am looking for somewhere to work temporarily. We have similar interests. This suggests a relationship worth pursuing.

Are you still a bit uneasy? Do you see me as over-qualified? Consider this: my apparent over-qualification may lead to a faster project completion time. Which converts to fewer hours you would need me – and less money you would spend to have me in the office. If part of your objective is reduced costs, I may be a part of your solution.

Of course, you may have other objectives. You may want someone who can converse easily with customers or employees (check), who is interested in doing a job well done (check), and who can write a coherent sentence without using text-speak (check).

Then again, you may see me as either under- or un-qualified. You need very specific skills or experience which I obviously did not comprehend from your advertisement. I sigh, cheeks red with embarrassment. May the next candidate be The One.

However, if you are comfortable with someone who is able to catch on quickly (check), you may want to take another look at my résumé. I might be what you need for such a time as this.


Thank you for your attention and (hopefully) your consideration,


Sincerely,

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