**Maybe there are spoilers? I certainly don't mean for there to be, but beware just in case**
This is a fractured fairytale as only Sondheim & Lapine can bring us. It's a grown up story - there is death and betrayal, heartache and grief . Yet it's as appropriate for kids as a Marvel movie.
However, I wish (no pun intended), the Ugly Witch was uglier. You've seen the commercials, you know it's Meryl Streep. But if she looked less like Meryl Streep, her transformation would be as spectacular as it is on stage.
(I've never seen the stage version in full. But I do recall seeing a snippet on TV - PBS, I think. Or perhaps a Tony awards broadcast. The Witch transformed; my mouth was agape.)
You've seen the bus stop placards with Chris Pine. You may have thought, 'oh, he must have a non-singing role of some sort'.
Oh contraire, mes amis. He sings. And he doesn't Brosnan (or Crowe) it, either.
He Shatners it. To good effect and in the best of ways. It sounds incredible, but truly, it worked for me.
As the closing credits rolled, I felt I had watched a play on screen. Not something based on the play, but the play itself, given a little room to breathe, though constrained by the time frame and lack of intermission.
It was good. Certainly worth the price of a movie ticket if you love musicals and can't wait. But it's perfectly acceptable to hold out for the $3 movie theater or RedBox. If this is your cup of tea, you'll enjoy it.
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Friday, December 5, 2014
Peter Pan Live! - My 3 cents
Of course I watch these Walmart underwritten Musical Theatre Live! (unless you're on the West Coast) shows. It's
a play! And I can see for free!
Staging-wise, Peter Pan was bigger and bolder than last year's
Sound of Music, and not just because of the flying. There's Nana, the dog, (wonderfully
trained and excellent) and the Crocodile (a person in costume who didn’t look
like Godzilla. I liked it). And Tinkerbell was CGI. Outside of the camera being
out of focus for half a minute in the first act, the tech was good.
There was nothing cringe-worthy about Alison Williams' performance.
And Christopher Walken? Well. . . He was Christopher Walken in a Captain Hook
costume. Works for some, not for others. Unfortunately, I couldn't always hear
the juicy alliteration and wonderful rhymes. But once I understood it was okay
to laugh at his Warble, I giggled every time I heard/saw it.
Kelli O'Hara, who played Mrs. Darling, was a delight to listen to
and watch. Showing us how it's done.
Did I like it? <shrug> Meh. I was reminded that I never
really connected with the story. We've just witnessed an experience Wendy was eager
to share with her daughter. But what did she gain – or lose – as a result? Why
was it so easy to miss her character arc?
Apparently,
in addition to the published play, there's a book (Peter and Wendy). I'll let
you know if it answers my character arc question.
Do I recommend it watching it? <shrug> Sure. It's enjoyable
if you take it for what it is – a musical meant to entertain. Ask for more, and
you'll get into trouble. (Example: Adults can't go to Neverland…but how did
Captain Hook and his men get there?)
One of these days I'm actually going to live tweet these things. In
the meantime, here are a few other notes and observations:
Betty Condon? Adolph Green? Jerome Robbins? I had no idea the play
had such a pedigree.
Oh, so you're the cleverest boy now that a girl has sewn your
shadow back on? Son, you betta recognize.
Two songs so quickly in a row. That's stamina. Or Broadway. Or
both.
Wait – you never grow old there, but Pan ran away to Neverland
when he was a baby?
So…we're supposed to see the wires? And the harness?
I'm used to Smee being portly.
Wait – is Smee also Mr. Darling who was also Herr Detweiler? (According
to IMDB, yes.)
I see ya' posing, bald pirate in purple.
Hook's got a La-Z-Boy throne.
Should they really be doing jazz steps on a pirate ship? (Yes, yes
they should. Because they are the Chorus Line.)
Huh. The Lost Boys are dressy fairly preppy. Or is it steam punk? Nonetheless,
a strange contrast to Peter's woodland garb.
They're crying, "Yo Ho!" as they come around the bend. I was expecting dwarfs.
Umm…the Lost Boys' lair is empty. How is it untidy?
A: I need to learn how to make a pocket. B: How many kids picture
a Hot Pocket whenever Peter mentions making pockets?
"And the end of Hamlet?" Proof the Shakespeare is for
everyone, even kids.
Peter's broken the 4th wall and is asking us to save
Tinkerbell. So the play is a panto*?
*Ima let you Google pantomime theatre for yourselves. Whatever you
find will explain far better than I can.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Thoughts and Such
Do you know why traffic in Los Angeles is so bad?
Cellphones. People texting, leaving a full 2 car lengths in front of them while
waiting at a light or "driving" with the flow of traffic.
<Yosemite Sam voice> I hates texters.
Robin Williams and Depression
As horrific as his death was, the cause of death brought
extra weight. One of the folks I follow on Twitter noted that people who never
knew Robin Williams would now pontificate about him for the week. I made a
mental note there would also be people who don’t understand depression saying
and posting well-meaning but misguided things.
Which happened. But there were also many who spoke their
story, who illuminated and enlightened and educated. People were being
encouraged to get help, reminded of they are not alone in their depression. In
death, Robin Williams continued to bring smiles, making his passing bitingly bittersweet.
Ferguson: Good Reads from Karen Walrond and Matt Zoller Seitz.
Thank you to The Bloggess (Jenny Lawson) and Jay Smooth, respectively.
My Round 1 thoughts on Ferguson here.
Seeing commercials for the TV show RUSH, and thinking, they found a guy who looks just like Larenz
Tate. Except he's not a look-alike. Apparently Larenz Tate doesn't age.
Yes, I do live under a rock. Fortunately, someone in my
twitter feed linked to this, so I'm up-to-date on what's hip and happening as of last month.
When you watch Kingdom
of the Crystal Skull on TV and Indy talks to Mack, do you think That's not
the right guy – it should be homeboy from MacGyver - but then you're glad it's not homeboy from MacGyver because in the movie Mack
is greedy? And then when you look up homeboy on IMDB and learn the character he
played was Jack not Mack, do you think you should probably feel bad about the
mistake, but you don't because it's like song lyrics, and everyone gets some
song lyrics wrong so it's okay to get a character's name wrong? No? Just me
then?
I'm jones'n for a newspaper.
Ferguson
When Ferguson first broke, I listened from a distance,
most of my news coming from folks on my twitter feed. It was two weeks before I
tried to get the basic facts, the known and undisputed. Questions and Comments festered
and popped.
Re: Rioters and looters who were said to be from outside
of the area: Oakland feels your pain,
Ferguson.
Re: Pundits who say it's not about race: Fine. Regardless
of race, we have a clearly unarmed man fatally shot by police in broad
daylight. Why isn't that a source of outrage?
Perhaps I missed it, but I didn't hear any official
statement akin to 'We thought the deceased was drawing a weapon' (See: Amadou
Diallo) or 'I thought I pulled my taser' (See: Oscar Grant). So it was clear he
was unarmed when shots were first fired, correct?
Does Ferguson PD have tasers? Would that have been the
optimal choice of deterrent in the situation the officer described?
Jaywalking? Really? I know it's against the law, but in
what situation is it worth any law enforcement officer's energy to attempt to
cite an adult for jaywalking? (No, seriously. I want to understand why this is
not ridiculous. I would be much obliged if you could cure me of this bafflement.)
Initial commercials for Denzel's new movie The Equalizer included a scene where the
bad guy says "What do you see when you look at me?" and Denzel
responds, "What do you see when you look at me?" and every time I heard it I heard the question black men
in Ferguson were asking. I heard a question I have asked too many times.
The summer before my senior year in college, I worked reception
for a cheerleading camp. Teams were staying in the dorms on campus, and I was
there to assist with check in, etc. One man lost his room key, and came to the
desk for help, where I assisted him the best I could. He was profuse in his Thank
Yous. 'You speak so well!' he added.
In that split second of shock, I decided to be bemused instead
of offended. He repeated his refrain after every interaction we had, including
when he finally found his room key (in a pants pocket, if memory serves). To be
fair, since I was 20, I probably looked 13*. Still, how else was I supposed to
speak? Why wouldn't I "speak well?"
What do you see when you see me?
*That is, if you don't know how old I am, and you think
I'm mature for my age, you've probably guessed my age wrong. Actually, even if
you don't think I'm mature for my age, you've probably guessed wrong.
Monday, July 7, 2014
Six Months In – A Review
January
The first
of the month, I drove to North Hollywood to look at an apartment. I had no job,
nor did I know where I would spend the night.
Many
thanks to my mom for the bit of extra cash that kept me out of the Cash or Cashiers'
Check Only Residential Hotel on Vanowen. As fascinating as it would have been
to live like Elwood Blues (you got my cheese wiz, boy?), I would've gotten
asthma from the heavy mist of latent cigarette smoke.
Instead,
I domiciled at Extended Stay America, a two-star hotel (according to Priceline)
where each room has a full kitchen, and pets are allowed. Unfortunately, it did
not have the proper PBS station; I've yet to see Season 3 of Sherlock.
Much love
to Jason Best Staffing, who, when I applied for an advertised position, sat
with me for an hour to get to know who I am.
Which led
to a temp assignment in Beverly Hills.
February
Almost
daily strolls down Rodeo Drive, and far too many walks for scrumptious sweet
macarons. Back at the office, I observed formerly unimaginable levels workplace
dysfunction. Yowza.
Much love
to MT, with whom I stayed (paying rent, of course) for two and a half months.
And to the lovely J, a truly extraordinary woman. And of course, the Queen of
the Castle, S, one of the smartest little dogs I've ever met.
Jason
Best called about a permanent position. In Commercial Real Estate (?), as an
admin <sigh>, with room for growth <I'm listening>.
March
New job. I
learned CorelDraw, I get to play with PhotoShop, and I'm learning InDesign. All
of which is unusual for an admin at a commercial real estate brokerage. Things
aren't bad.
Apartment
hunting. The first one bedroom in North Hollywood was spacious enough. But
there were blinds that didn't close, and the only window in the bedroom faced a
busy street. Plus, when I arrived, the neighbors were blaring music.
The
second one bedroom, also in NoHo, seemed perfect but for a faulty bathroom
faucet. The person who showed the place really liked me; the property owner,
not so much. He knew he wasn't going to rent to me, perhaps the moment he saw
me. 'You have to have really good credit' he warned. Please. my credit is goood.
A studio
in Sherman Oaks. Ground floor, street parking. Surprisingly spacious. It's not
a one bedroom, but
April
Wednesday:
Signed the lease for the Sherman Oaks studio
Thursday:
Bought a 40" flat screen TV, a vacuum, a microwave, and a few other things
at Target, on my lunch break.
Saturday
AM: Bought TV stand from Ikea, assembled it
Saturday
PM: Internet/TV guy arrived to work his magic
Priorities,
people. Priorities.
I returned the microwave ~a week later
– it didn't work. How does that even happen? Well, since I planned to eat off
of fine china, anyway, I didn't replace it. It's not nearly as inconvenient as
one would imagine.
May
I flew to
my mom's house to get the rest of my things. All of the encyclopedias fit! (Unfortunately
I don't know where #23 is.) And the rest of my books! Except for Kevin Aucoin's
The Art of Makeup – a true coffee
table tome worthy of a swankier pad than mine. It sits atop one of my
bookshelves.
June
A box of
things to give away. A box of things to shred. A few more bins to go through - desk
stuff I've avoided. Amazing how much can happen in six months.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Driving in LA
The Left Turn Arrow seems sparse here. Many are the busy
thoroughfares where one needs to wait for the oncoming traffic to abate. It is not
unusual to turn left on a red light.
Here, yellow means Speed Up. Unless the intersection is
blocked. Or one is in danger of blocking the intersection. And sometimes even
then. . .
Is the street wide enough to make two lanes while waiting
for the light? Done and done. No need to wait behind the person turning left if
there is room to wait to turn right.
Merging seems particularly difficult for many. You know when
you get to a merge point, and the cars alternate, going every other one? Like
the teeth of a zipper interlocking as it's being closed?
That concept's not clear here. Let someone go ahead of me? Are you crazy? Ima get mines.
You gonna get worse gridlock is what you gonna get.
This is not to say there is a lack of charity on the roads. I've
been warned of a fresh accident by the car ahead of me. There's a spot on
Beverly Glen where the unwritten rule is every other car, allowing those at a
stop sign to enter the flow of traffic. I've seen folks leave enough space for residents
to get in and out of their driveways during rush hour on Coldwater Canyon.
Still, the general sense I get of the Los Angeles driving attitude
of Me First Me First Me First!
I'm settling in just fine. Except for that merging bit.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Hello, Brentwood
It's March. A new job, a new city, a new commute.
West of Beverly Hills is Brentwood. Some of you remember it
as the home of Brian "Kato" Kaelin (that's all I'm going to say about
that).
My first day of work, I left at 7am with the hopes of
arriving before 9, without getting lost.
I succeeded on one count.
The route was Beverly Glen to Sunset to Beverly Glen to
Wilshire to San Vincente, U-turn at Montana, San Vicente to the parking garage.
But, as Bugs Bunny might say, I should've taken a left at
Albuquerque. Or rather, that second Beverly Glen. Unable to handle the funky intersection,
I stayed on Sunset.
I'm driving past Bel Air on my left!
Oh, snap, I'm crossing the 405! I am so lost.
Barrington! I know that street! I think I know where I
Nope. I have no clue where I am. Pull over.
The streets in this part of down bisect each other in ways only
a Geometry teacher would appreciate.
Within a block of each other are a Peet's, a Starbucks, and a
Coffee Bean.
I'm not saying I'm
homesick, but it warms the cockles of my heart when I see a Peet's. Bay Area!
The office is within walking distance of the three coffee
pubs, across the street from a Whole Foods, and less than a block away from the
Public Library. There's a Burger Lounge, where apparently so little meat is
offered, a certain Wendy's commercial should be revived.
I returned to Sunset for my journey home,
I am driving
past UCLA, aren't I?
Almost turned into Bel Air (a gated community like no other),
in my effort to turn onto Beverly Glen,
Got tired of waiting to turn onto Beverly Glen, and
continued on Sunset
Is that a little
museum tucked away among these houses, what with the statues and lawn? Private
Property. Wait, is that someone's house?
Into Beverly Hills, and up the familiar Coldwater Canyon.
I'll be making this commute from now on, until I move into a
more permanent place. This is not a temp position; I filled out a W-2. I'm going to be here for a
while.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Saturday in a Southern California Deluge
When SoCal weather forecasters speak of a rain storm, they
are referring to precipitation so mild, you need only a hoodie if you get
caught in it. The ground becomes slightly wetter than a dewy morning.
The storm predicted for Friday was different. In certain
areas, people were getting sandbags to protect their homes and businesses. Thursday
night, I could hear the rain as it came down. Now, this is a proper
rainstorm.
Indeed. These were the streets Friday morning,
Hard to see, but my tire's in a little puddle of water |
and Saturday would bring no respite.
Still, laundry must be done, mail retrieved, food bought.
I arrived at the Laundromat as a light sprinkle began. An
hour later, buckets.
In the ten minute drive to buy sundries, the rain alternated
between blindingly heavy and non-existent. I broke down and bought a $15
umbrella to replace the too eager to collapse insurance swag I had in my car.
As I approached my car with my purchases, a woman passed by,
annoyed. The man behind her looked bedraggled and tired.
He approached me as I opened my car door, mumbling a request
I didn't understand, coming close enough to touch me.
I'm sorry I can't.
Into the car, lock the door, deep breath. No, it's probably uncommon for a woman
to be assaulted in front of Target. But I'm not accustomed to strangers getting
so close to me in the parking lot.
I unwrapped my Luna bar, and watched him walk past my side
mirror to another part of the lot. While eating, I watched him walk back,
loiter, then approach another woman. Who was alone. Like me. Like the annoyed woman
who had passed me.
Saturday is mail day. And paycheck day, since the temp
agency I worked for did not have direct deposit. Post office, bank, lunch,
groceries.
I went to a Vons so small, there wasn't a chips aisle. Nor
did I see pita chips, despite the abundant availability of humus. Heavy
sprinkle when I entered, downpour when I left. No change to the parking lot,
though.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
The Rodeo Residency: Cruising Down the Avenue
Initially, I would get to Beverly Hills too early
to go in to work. So I walked to Rodeo Drive, a street of high end shops
famous for celebrity clientele.
It was around 7:15 AM when I glimpsed a gray haired man
getting his hair cut. Surreal.
On Rodeo Drive itself, the store displays are not particularly
unusual or spectacular. While the clothes on the storefront mannequins are
changed roughly every two weeks, the accompanying props are in for the long
haul. At the Coach Store, there's a street sign of the intersection of 5th
and Madison Avenues. You can take the store out of New York, but you can't take
the New York out of the store.
Mont Blanc, the purveyor of fine writing instruments, caught
my attention. Despite being in Beverly Hills, their window displays are empty when
the store is closed.
I saw this bit of quaintness one crisp cool morning
Upon further exploration, I discovered Tiffany's house
I believe Versace's a neighbor, across the way. At its end (or
entrance) are marble steps, a fountain (not pictured), and a sign to tell you where
you are.
On my lunch breaks, I visited the three major department stores
of the area: Barney's New York, Saks 5th Avenue, and Neiman Marcus.
I'd never been to Barney's, which may be why it felt the
posh-est to me. Or it may have been the pair of sandals with the unusual ankle
strap. The holes and buckle of the strap were hidden behind another layer of
leather. Incroyable!
Saks actually is actually split into two – the main store, and
The 5th Man men's store. It's the most like a typical department
store - <whisper> they had sales
racks in the shoe section.
The 5th Man also has the Bridal department and corporate
offices. I read Bridal and thought dishes and silverware (I'm in a fine china phase). Au contraire, mon frère.
Bridal means Wedding Dresses.
Question for the gallery: Why are all modern wedding dresses
sleeveless?
Neiman's fine china section is in the basement, where there
is also a collection of fine art in the hallway on the way to the bathrooms. For me,
Neiman's posh-er than Saks, but not near Barney's.
There are other stores in the area, of course. Boutiques I
have never heard of. Stores I'd only seen at Westfield San Francisco (i.e., the
mall at the Powell Street BART station). My macron store, 'lette. And to my shock, a Cheesecake Factory.
One day, I noticed an interesting tower in the distance. It
looked to be only a block past Beverly; surely I could examine it during my lunch
hour.
As I rounded the corner, I glimpsed an art
deco style building. C'est tres belle! This first building turned out to be
Beverly Hills Civic Center |
But it was not the building I came to see. No, I was
interested in the building next door, the one with the tower
Wow. What is this place?
What?!
<sigh>
That's right. I'm in Beverly Hills.
The Rodeo Residency: A Temp Assignment
The good news: I did not have to get onto the 405. Even
leaving Woodland Hills at 6:30 AM, taking 405 S would have been a nightmare.
Instead, I took Coldwater Canyon, twisting and turning my
way through the hills. When I moved to my current (temporary) location in Sherman
Oaks, I didn't even need to get onto the freeway.
There was still traffic, of course. Because,
1. I'm in Los Angeles County,
2. There is major construction on Coldwater
from Moorpark to Ventura, right before the climb into the hills,
3. There is a high school at the
base of the ascent, and
4. There are two stoplights for the
folks going to Mulholland Drive. It wasn't unusual to be stopped on the incline, in the midst of a curve.
When I came out of Coldwater onto Beverly Drive, I passed a park
which includes, to my left,
Alphabet Man
Alien Tulips
Actually Hymn of Life: Tulips by Yayoi Kusama, 2007 |
or Why Isn't This a Cool Playground?
Possibly because only the sidewalk separates it from uber-busy Santa Monica Blvd |
Or it reminds one too many people of Men in Black 2 |
To my right,
Artsy Bugs Bunny
Actually The Drummer by Barry Flanagan, 1989-90 |
And,
That's right. My temp assignment is in Beverly Hills.
For the first two weeks, I used the Valet-Only Visitor
parking (with company validation, fortunately). It wasn't long before I was
comfortable with the concept. Every morning I left my door open, keys in the ignition, engine idling as I greeted the valet and took my ticket.
There were actually two parts to the assignment. The first
was updating the global address book, a data entry project well suited to my
abilities and personality. I sat with the IT guys (some of my favorite folks in
a company), plugging away.
I then moved to uploading documents to a database. I relocated
to a desk near the Office Manager, got into a groove, and did my thang.
Because organization + databases is one of my thangs.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Hallucination?
On Monday, while trying to get to work, I turned onto the
Avenue of the Stars and saw smooth gray statues of animals. Jaguars, casually
pacing. Deer, likely frolicking in the brush.
Since I've now managed to get to work 45 minutes early, I
decided to cruise the Avenue with a calmer heartbeat. And I get another look at
those statues.
Anticipation was high when I turned down the street. I was
greeted by a beautiful fountain. Not a statue in sight.
Maybe they start at the
next island
Nothing but another large, lovely fountain.
But the deer…I saw the
deer right before I made that U-turn. Right
There. No deer.
Either the statues are easily removed for cloudy days,
Or I was hallucinating.
Monday, January 27, 2014
To Downtown Beverly Hills
My current temp assignment has me working at a real estate
firm in Downtown(?) Beverly Hills. To get there, I could
Take the 101 to the 405, or
Take Coldwater Canyon, or
Take Beverly Glen.
I opted for Coldwater Canyon. Partly because at the 101/405
split, most of the cars were going on the 405.
Thus
Coldwater Canyon to Mulholland to Coldwater Canyon to
Beverly Drive, turn right to stay on Beverly Drive, then right on Santa Monica,
left on Linden, left on Wilshire, left on Roxbury to get into the parking
garage, and
TA-DA! <Jazz Hands>
Have you ever been on Telegraph/Hwy 13, near the Claremont
Hotel in Berkeley? All twisty and windy with posh houses tucked in the hill's
crevices? Coldwater to Mulholland to Coldwater is like that. Only there are a
few stoplights in the middle. And the houses are bigger and gated.
As Coldwater turns to Beverly, the houses expand in girth,
and the street becomes clearly lined by towering palms.
Well onto Beverly, the street widens. Two cars interspersed
with a pair of Smart for Twos can fit comfortably side by side.
A right turn onto Santa Monica. It's an expressway. There's
Linden, but it only goes right. Perhaps it has a left turn further up?
Wait, that's Wilshire. But it's on a sort of diagonal, and I
can't turn onto it. < small whimpering panic>.
Century Park? Avenue of the Stars? Multiple animal statues
in the medians? No stopping anytime? <growl-y panic nipping fiercely at tinges
of childish wonder>.
Oop – U-turn possible <flickering embers of confidence
and hope>.
Wait, what? There are two Santa Monica Blvds? I don't
remember Google saying anything about that. I'll take the Local – it seems
to traverse amongst the buildings.
Ahhh
a place to park,
a place to breathe,
a place to map.
Friday, January 24, 2014
A Five Hour Job
Inventory.
By counting the number of items in a store, a company can
assess their current worth and confirm the size of their theft problem. It's
hard to tell how much is stolen if you don't know how much you have – and how
much you should have.
We were told to pack light, and to try not to bring any
bags. I brought my purse, into which I packed water and a sandwich. Five hours
with a 10 minute break? A girl's gotta eat.
As roughly 50 temps amassed outside the doors, shoppers were
curious and anxious. Are you waiting to
shop? Is there some sort of special sale going on?
Once inside, we were taught how to use a scanner.
Ooo, it's like phaser!
someone said. Or did they say taser?
Once trained, we were sent to different departments of the
store. I was sent to women's shoes.
Ahhhh Yeahhh.
The store was silent, but for the beeps of scanners, and
whispered God Bless Yous in response to sneezes.
Scan the shelf barcode. Take the shoe box off of the rack;
ensure it contains a proper pair. Scan the code on the right shoe. Repeat until
you've taken all of the boxes off of that shelf. Press a button on the scanner.
Count the boxes you've taken off of the shelf. Enter the number into the scanner.
Hoorah! It Balances! Write that number, and your initials, on the sticker that
has the shelf barcode. Next!
There were six shelves on a rack, with a mode* of six boxes
to a shelf. Up, down, up, down, crouch, twist, count, write, up, down
My organized self was aghast. Only 10% of the shoes were in
the correct box. Do I want to know why a pair of 4-inch heels were in a box
meant for knee-high boots?
Naturally, I had to put the shoes neatly back into the boxes.
I'm not great with the spacial, so it took me a little longer, especially when
it came to boots. If I put the right boot
in this way, the left boot goes upside down and – no wait, that's not working.
Maybe if I try uh, no. Oh! There it is!
After an hour, I was trembling, my muscles unused to repetitive
physical exertion. Still, I wasn't sore when I went to bed that night.
No, soreness would come by the middle of the next day. I was
unable to squat to the floor to pick up a piece of paper without wincing in
pain.
It's taken another 48 hours to get to an almost pain free
95% mobility.
That's why exercise is important, kids. You never know when
you'll be asked to do inventory.
*as in mean, median, mode. 'member?
Saturday, January 18, 2014
'lette - a review
When I think of macarons, I think of those yummy, sometimes slightly
oily, coconut cookies. Those are called macaroons, and these are nothing like them.
Imagine a vanilla wafer sandwich with filling. Now, instead
of vanilla wafer, think of a sort of almond paste meringue. Firm enough to hold
in the hand, soft and slightly chewy at the bite.
(clockwise from left): caramel, violet cassis, lemon, rose |
And the filling
Caramel tasted just like a quality
piece of caramel from a candy bin. Gooey and yummy.
Violet cassis reminded me of candy
egg at Easter. The filling includes a bit of jam – currant, perhaps?
Lemon had just the right strength.
It was like a little lemon bar
Rose tasted like roses, which may
sound both logical and strange. It's a delicate flavor, perfect for a tea
party.
In fact, all of them would do well for a tea party. Or
dessert. Or mid-morning snack. Or
You get the picture. These things are yummy. I will be
eating more of them.
More information about
'lette can be found online at lettemacarons.com.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Back on LinkedIn
Because when the person interviewing you says you should be
on LinkedIn, you get on LinkedIn.
I filled in all of the fields I saw, and clicked Create Profile.
Ruh-Roh. I need to select and industry.
This is my biggest LinkedIn dread. If I pick an industry I
want, my work history doesn't reflect it. In the past, I picked the industry I worked
in, an industry I was trying to escape. I kept getting job offers for that
industry. What to choose?
Entertainment? I'm still quite fascinated with the industry
Events Services? Working with an Event Coordinator, running
around day of, seems right up my alley
Design? I do like pretty things
Media Production? Oooo, I'd like to help with that!
Performing Arts? Someday I'll get back to community theatre
And the winner is. . .
Writing and Editing. Because even without a job, I still
write. It's a constant, regardless of the industry I work in.
This new LinkedIn profile is not a perfect picture. But it is
the modern resume. This late adopter has to get with the times.
Friday, January 10, 2014
Tropicana Farmstand Peach Mango – A Review
Tropicana Farmstand Peach Mango is "100% Fruit & Vegetable Juice". I imagine it's meant to compete with V8's Splash and Fusion lines.
There's not a strong peach flavor, with peach being fourth
on the ingredient list after reconstituted clarified sweet potato juice, grape
juice, and apple juice.
There's no mango flavor to speak of at all, and with good
reason. Not only is mango puree the last main ingredient, it's comprised of the
ingredients that came before it:
Reconstituted
clarified sweet potato juice, grape juice, apple juice and peach puree, carrot juice
and mango puree (filtered water,
clarified sweet potato juice, grape juice, peach puree, apple juice, mango
puree and carrot juice concentrates), natural flavors, citric acid,
ascorbic acid (Vitamin C), and beta-carotene
In other words, a drop of mango sludge for every 46 oz
bottle.
If the goal was to mask any taste of vegetable, Tropicana failed.
Granted, the vegetables in question are sweet potato and carrot – not bad tasting
veggies. But one is aware.
I bought the juice because I am recovering from a cold and
tired of orange juice, and orange mango juice, and peach orange mango juice. I
wanted something juice-y and citrus-y, but not orange.
It did not satisfy on that front.
However, it doesn't taste bad. Unique, but not unpalatable. I
could see it in a blended drink, like a smoothie (I'm going to try it with ice
cream). I sense something similar in the V8 lines would better mask the presence
of vegetable, a theory I need to test.
So
Tropicana Farmstand Peach Mango: not really peach, no mango
to speak of, strong whiff of a generally yummy orange vegetable (probably sweet
potato). Quenches the thirst, but not as soothing as orange juice if your
sinuses are inflamed from a cold.
New Year, New Location
On January 1, 2014, I drove to Southern California with the
intent to re-locate.
I don't have a job yet, and my housing situation is week to
week. Sounds crazy, I know. But consider:
You're only as good as the last thing you were in, right? I
spent the past 10 years doing data entry. And folks don't seem interested in hiring
a data entry person who is 300 miles away. Believe me, if I could've gotten a
job prior to moving, I would have.
For the moment, I'm living off of savings. Upon arrival, I
was going to stay at a hotel which charges ~$899 + tax per month. Sweet price,
right? Well. . .the lobby smells like smoke and there are security bars
everywhere. They accept cash, money order, and cashier's check –no credit
cards. It's Elwood Blues' Building. I'll probably be living there next month.
In the meantime, I'm taking cheap deals from Priceline for
Extended Stay America. Stove top, refrigerator, and free WiFi in the room. It's
a relief not to have to camp out at Starbucks or McDonald's all day.
I've been to two temp agencies – a local branch of my most recent
employer, and another located in Glendale. Across from the mall.
The mall.
I've been to a lot of malls:
Burbank (posh, yet ghettolicious),
Westfield Topanga (with Tesla
showroom & two tier carousel),
Sherman Oaks Galleria
(underwhelming for something seen while driving on the freeway),
Northridge (very much like
Stoneridge in Pleasanton – except for the little train),
Glendale Galleria (must go back
and buy from the macaroon store).
Yep. When I need to get away from the laptop, free parking
and exercise through window shopping.
Amidst the hardscape and lack of left turn signals, there are
sprigs of familiarity. I go to Vons because it's Safeway. I heard Lisa St.
Regis and Tony Sandoval on the radio.
But I'm not really homesick. Just
ready for a new adventure.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
The Bamboozler Returns
Wherein in this
account, the cussing exists, but is light.
It's 2014. The last thing I expected was an email from The
Bamboozler, informing me of a check in the mail for $4500. He even provided a
tracking number.
(I checked. It was legit.)
An amount more than twice what is owed me. Is this remorse?
<Light chuckles bubble into belly aching laughter. Tears stream
from the corner of the eyes as air is gulped, then sipped. Composure
regained.>
I was to keep my $1800; $2600 was to be sent to his brother-in-law
in the army, $100 was for the transfer fee.
Are You Nuts?
I'm not sending any money to anyone on your behalf. I'll keep what's mine and
send back what's yours. Seriously. What
makes you think I trust you? And who asks a stranger to send money to
relatives?
It took me a couple days to deal with the check that came. (Yes,
an actual check came.) In the meantime,
Have you handled it yet?
No, not yet.
Can you lend me $1800, and take the rest from the check?
Can I WHAT?! Oh, Hell No.
No.
Please, it's a life or death situation.
Sorry. If it was that serious, then you shouldn't have sent
it to me in the first place. Dumbass.
My schedule will not allow me to move any faster.
Oh, alright. I understand. Perhaps by Friday?
Now, I had already called my bank to see what would happen
if I deposited a bad check. The representative advised me to go to the issuing
bank and try to cash it. If it could be cashed, all was good. And that was what
I intended to do, except
The issuing bank was in New York. And not named Chase. No
branches in California.
So, I called them. As suspected, the check is bad news. If I
had deposited it in my account, not only would it bounce, it would probably
mess up my credit. The lady on the phone said I should contact the police. While
I added the info to my existing internet complaint, I'm thinking I need to
report it to another agency. With a physical check, it might not be considered
an internet crime.
What to tell The Bamboozler?
According to the bank from which the check was issued, the
check is bad. Unfortunately, I cannot cash what was sent.
Here's hoping the ensuing silence remains.
Friday, January 3, 2014
Bamboozled
Hey. I cuss a bit in
this piece. A warning.
After years of thinking about it, I decided to do it. Move
to Southern California. But when I looked for job, there seemed a preference
for those with a SoCal address.
I had a little bit in savings, so I started looking for places
to call home. I would live off my savings while finding work. The complexes on
rent.com and the like were too expensive; I turned to Craigslist.
In medium print, Craigslist encourages you to avoid scams
and resist sending money via MoneyGram or Western Union. See the place in
person, they say.
Which makes sense if you're moving within a region, but is
quite difficult if you're attempting to re-locate across a wide expanse.
Pictures should be enough, right? How do people move across country?
$600 / 1br - 1 bedroom, 1 bath
Condo (Washer, Dryer, Central AC & More) (north hollywood)
The 700 square feet condo comes with 1 tandem parking spaces
in the gated garage. Additionally, the duplex comes with FIREPLACE, central
A/C, central heater, stove/oven, refrigerator, dishwaher, garbage disposal,
washer, dryer, PRIVATE PATIO, tile floors and carpets in the bedrooms. The
kitchen was just completely remodeled
What got me was the washer & dryer. For $600 a month? In
North Hollywood? Lemme ask about this.
First, last & deposit, a link to pictures of the
interior, and an address I could Google Map. Husband, wife and young child had re-located
to Texas for work, and were looking for someone who wouldn't trash the place.
The photos looked good, the location, do-able.
I now know the application was bogus. But I completed it.
Application approved! MoneyGram $1200 to the wife, and you'll
be sent a FedEx with the keys, etc.
Done. What's the FedEx tracking number?
Actually, an additional $600 is needed – first, last, and
deposit, you see.
I see. I flinched. But it was mentioned beforehand. . .MoneyGram
completed.
What's the FedEx tracking number?
Oh, so sorry, it was sent via US Postal Service and there's
no tracking number. . .Hey, if you pay for 3 more months, I'll give you a month
free!
No thanks. I'll stick to the original agreement.
We have someone willing to pay 8 months in advance. But if it
looks like this isn't going to work out, I'll refund your money.
Good for them. I'll
take the refund, please.
Okay, okay, how about just one more month and you get a month
free? I'm really trying to prove to my lawyer and my wife that you would be a
good responsible tenant.
Are you fucking out of
your mind? I'm so fucking gullible I just MoneyGram'd you $1800 and you want me
to "prove my trustworthiness" by sending you more money? Please.
Give me my money. Asshole.
Since the property was located in North Hollywood, I contact
the LAPD to find out how to file a complaint. Being an internet crime, it's
technically under FBI jurisdiction. My complaint needed to be filed at ic3.gov.
Done and done.
Let me know when you receive the package I sent, and I'll
send the refund.
You know and I know
you never sent me a package. I'll let you know when it arrives.
I'm never going to get my money back. My growing suspicions bloomed
too late for me to cancel the transfers. In my eagerness to get a place in
Southern California, I was bamboozled.
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