Bamboozled

Hey. I cuss a bit in this piece. A warning.

After years of thinking about it, I decided to do it. Move to Southern California. But when I looked for job, there seemed a preference for those with a SoCal address.

I had a little bit in savings, so I started looking for places to call home. I would live off my savings while finding work. The complexes on rent.com and the like were too expensive; I turned to Craigslist.

In medium print, Craigslist encourages you to avoid scams and resist sending money via MoneyGram or Western Union. See the place in person, they say.

Which makes sense if you're moving within a region, but is quite difficult if you're attempting to re-locate across a wide expanse. Pictures should be enough, right? How do people move across country?

 $600 / 1br - 1 bedroom, 1 bath Condo (Washer, Dryer, Central AC & More) (north hollywood)

The 700 square feet condo comes with 1 tandem parking spaces in the gated garage. Additionally, the duplex comes with FIREPLACE, central A/C, central heater, stove/oven, refrigerator, dishwaher, garbage disposal, washer, dryer, PRIVATE PATIO, tile floors and carpets in the bedrooms. The kitchen was just completely remodeled

What got me was the washer & dryer. For $600 a month? In North Hollywood? Lemme ask about this.

First, last & deposit, a link to pictures of the interior, and an address I could Google Map. Husband, wife and young child had re-located to Texas for work, and were looking for someone who wouldn't trash the place. The photos looked good, the location, do-able.

I now know the application was bogus. But I completed it.

Application approved! MoneyGram $1200 to the wife, and you'll be sent a FedEx with the keys, etc.

Done. What's the FedEx tracking number?

Actually, an additional $600 is needed – first, last, and deposit, you see.

I see. I flinched. But it was mentioned beforehand. . .MoneyGram completed.

What's the FedEx tracking number?

Oh, so sorry, it was sent via US Postal Service and there's no tracking number. . .Hey, if you pay for 3 more months, I'll give you a month free!

No thanks. I'll stick to the original agreement.

We have someone willing to pay 8 months in advance. But if it looks like this isn't going to work out, I'll refund your money.

Good for them. I'll take the refund, please.

Okay, okay, how about just one more month and you get a month free? I'm really trying to prove to my lawyer and my wife that you would be a good responsible tenant.

Are you fucking out of your mind? I'm so fucking gullible I just MoneyGram'd you $1800 and you want me to "prove my trustworthiness" by sending you more money? Please.

Give me my money. Asshole.

Since the property was located in North Hollywood, I contact the LAPD to find out how to file a complaint. Being an internet crime, it's technically under FBI jurisdiction. My complaint needed to be filed at ic3.gov. Done and done.

Let me know when you receive the package I sent, and I'll send the refund.

You know and I know you never sent me a package. I'll let you know when it arrives.

I'm never going to get my money back. My growing suspicions bloomed too late for me to cancel the transfers. In my eagerness to get a place in Southern California, I was bamboozled.