The Bamboozler Returns

Wherein in this account, the cussing exists, but is light.

It's 2014. The last thing I expected was an email from The Bamboozler, informing me of a check in the mail for $4500. He even provided a tracking number.

(I checked. It was legit.)

An amount more than twice what is owed me. Is this remorse?

<Light chuckles bubble into belly aching laughter. Tears stream from the corner of the eyes as air is gulped, then sipped. Composure regained.>

I was to keep my $1800; $2600 was to be sent to his brother-in-law in the army, $100 was for the transfer fee.

Are   You   Nuts? I'm not sending any money to anyone on your behalf. I'll keep what's mine and send back what's yours. Seriously. What makes you think I trust you? And who asks a stranger to send money to relatives?

It took me a couple days to deal with the check that came. (Yes, an actual check came.) In the meantime,

Have you handled it yet?

No, not yet.

Can you lend me $1800, and take the rest from the check?

Can I WHAT?! Oh, Hell No.

No.

Please, it's a life or death situation.

Sorry. If it was that serious, then you shouldn't have sent it to me in the first place. Dumbass. My schedule will not allow me to move any faster.

Oh, alright. I understand. Perhaps by Friday?

Now, I had already called my bank to see what would happen if I deposited a bad check. The representative advised me to go to the issuing bank and try to cash it. If it could be cashed, all was good. And that was what I intended to do, except

The issuing bank was in New York. And not named Chase. No branches in California.

So, I called them. As suspected, the check is bad news. If I had deposited it in my account, not only would it bounce, it would probably mess up my credit. The lady on the phone said I should contact the police. While I added the info to my existing internet complaint, I'm thinking I need to report it to another agency. With a physical check, it might not be considered an internet crime.

What to tell The Bamboozler?

According to the bank from which the check was issued, the check is bad. Unfortunately, I cannot cash what was sent.

Here's hoping the ensuing silence remains.