An LA Tour

I took a weekend to explore some of the areas where I'd seen apartments for rent. Mid-Wilshire/Koreatown and North Hollywood, to name a few. My itinerary was carefully planned.

First stop: 608 S Westlake

Traveling on the 101 & 170.

Hey, there's an exit for the Hollywood Bowl! Hey, there's the exit for Highland! Hollywood & Highland must be that way! Hey, there's Hollywood Towers! Looks like it could've been an inspiration for the Disney's Tower of Terror! Wow, there is absolutely no traffi…oop. Spoke too soon.

The exit I took had me driving towards Historic Filipinotown. I ended up going in circles (unsurprising), driving on Wilshire through MacArthur Park. On the map, this part of town is called Westlake. Not to be confused with Westlake Village in the Valley.

Next Stop: 333 S Catalina and 974 S Catalina

I took the surface streets.

<streetcar voice> Next stop, 3^rd & Vermont. Koreatown.

At the next stoplight

<streetcar voice> Next stop, 3^rd & New Hampshire. Little Bangladesh.

So this is Mid-Wilshire. Nice little area, with the more expensive apartments closer to 3^rd. I can appreciate the place.

Next Stop: 1025 N Serrano Ave

It took me forever to find this building – I was going in circles with the Apple map app. Then I was instructed to turn right on a street that only seemed to go left. . .

I should've started with Google Maps. She talks to me. And flashes instructions on the screen. Even if the phone is locked.

I'm not quite sure what part of the city I was in. But it added to my suspicion that I'm not up for LA city living at this point in my life. On to the

Next Stop: 7727 Lankershim and 6408 Lankershim

Back on the 170, past the Hollywood Bowl, to North Hollywood.

I've driven on Laurel Canyon once. It was lovely; lush foliage, the serenity of nature. I thought North Hollywood would be similar.

Au contraire, mon frère. I drove by a swap meet. A Swap Meet.

It was time for lunch.

Next Stop: Taste of Chicago

The restaurant is across the street from a shopping center. Parking is paltry; the bathrooms, accessed from outside with a key. I think the site might have previously been a gas station.

Polish dog with caramelized onions and mustard on a poppy seed bun. A Pelligrino instead of the always delectable root beer. Sitting in a sunny back corner of the restaurant, I could see the cars drive by on my right. To my left was a small, classy photo of the late Dennis Farina, a dear friend of the restaurant's owner.

It was my first polish dog without ketchup.

My day seems to be going pretty much as I had planned, I lamented to myself, having forgotten the morning's surprises. There seemed to be no adventure, nothing magical. My expectations were not blown, North Hollywood notwithstanding.

Next Stop: The Beverly Center

I took the surface streets.

I drove past the shopping center and

Is that the Warner Bros. Water Tower? Nah, I don't see the WB symbol, like on Animaniacs.

I look to my right.

Omigoodness, that's a studio entrance! Eyes on the road, don't get into an accident.

Upcoming on my left is a building with a mural. Robin from Teen Titans. And Superman. And Wonder Woman. And a load of other cartoon characters standing in front of the Justice League building.

<screams of delight>

Eyes on the road, eyes on the road

More studio entrances are to my right, and

As I come to the end of the street, I can read the words "Warner Bros. Studio" on the water tower.

<oddly, my screams sound like a cackling bird>

Calm down, don’t' get into an accident, you're going onto curvy road

Eventually, traffic begins to slow as I pass the Hollywood Bowl.

I'm driving by the Hollywood Bowl!

And then I come upon what looks to be some sort of mall and/or movie theatre. Which confuses me – I can't possibly be there yet. And why does it feel so touristy?

Because I'm on Hollywood Blvd. And I'm about to cross Highland. Where there's a Ripley's Believe or Not museum on one of the corners.

I'm at Hollywood & Highland!

It's not a big thing, but I never imagined I would be at Hollywood & Highland, even if only for a stoplight.

Or drive by the Hollywood Bowl. Or see the Warner Brothers Water Tower.

Expectations - -Poof.

One of Those Days

One evening, I decided to change the towel bar in the bathroom.

I know – normally this is a weekend kind of job. But changing a wall-mounted towel rack takes, what, an hour max? Surely it could be done on a weeknight.

Except the old towel rack was not typical. See, most racks you buy have hidden screws (the new one, in fact, has hidden screws). But when we remodeled the bathroom, I chose a rack that did not have this common feature.

So when I took the old rack down. . .

First the anchors for the screws (or were they mounting brackets?) dropped into the wall as I unscrewed the towel bar. Surprising how ominous the sound of something falling out of reach and out of sight is.

When the bar was completely off, there were holes in the wall. Not giant holes. Just big enough to forcefully shove a dime through.

The night now belonged to spackle. Off to Home Depot at 7:45 PM.

(7:45 at night might be when you're normally out and about. But I don't go out after dark unless it's with or for friends or family. You should probably stay off my lawn.)

Puttering along, I get pulled over by a cop. Which was slightly nerve racking, since I was issued a citation in December for almost hitting an officer while attempting a lane change (Driving While Extremely Tired). I did online traffic school and everything, but I can't get another hit on my record for something like a year or 18 months, so

I pulled over and he said something through the loudspeaker which I heard as "Move up, please" but then he said it again and it was actually "PULL INTO THE PARKING LOT" so I pulled my seatbelt back on while I slowly driving into one of the lesser known lots of the Hilton Hotel.

"I pulled you over because your headlight is out," he said, though he didn’t specify which headlight. Sitting for an unbearably long time as he took my license, registration, and insurance and (presumably) ran me several times through his SMOD*, I stared into the bushes. (It seemed uncouth to turn on the radio or play with my phone.)

I guessed it was the passenger side light, which I verified with him when he brought my stuff back and before he sent me on my way.

Challenge # 2 - a new headlight. I remember my dad changing one of the headlights on his car as we were on our way to his house one weekend. He changed it in the parking lot! So I should be able to change a headlight, right?

Plan A: Get instructions from the internet. Take light bulb out of car during lunch break. Drive to auto parts store after work, show them the light bulb, buy the replacement, go home, change light bulb, eat dinner.

Plan B: Get instructions from the internet. Drive to auto parts store after work, ask them the light bulb for my car, buy the replacement, go home, change light bulb, eat dinner

Plan B. Because the first set of instructions I found were rubbish, and by the time I found something useful, my lunch time was over.

I ended up buying two light bulbs; it seemed wise to have them both be spanking new. The change out took roughly an hour, with 58 minutes devoted to pushing the wire thing in and down to lock the new bulbs into place. You'd think after doing one, the second would be faster, but noooo.

My back was not amused. For several hours.

But, I was still able to install the new towel rack before bedtime. A victorious ending to one of those days.

  

*You'll have to watch the first 30 minutes of the Blues Brothers. Not Blues Brothers 2000. The Blues Brothers.

Bifocals Before 40

See, what had happened was

My eyes were hurting so I stopped wearing my driving glasses. And I had stopped wearing my reading glasses because the doctor said I didn't need them. Sure, I would get headaches after watching TV for more than 30 minutes at a time, but that was because I was tired and cranky and needed to eat something, right?

Now, my contact at the temp agency insisted I get health insurance. So I signed up for medical and vision – almost $30 bucks out of my paycheck. For an $11/hr job, that's not chump change.

(Come to find out the medical coverage does not qualify as the minimum under the new federal healthcare law. So I'm going to have to go to the exchange, which is irksome.)

One day my head was pounding, my eyes barely focusing as I drove doing errands. I made an eye doctor appointment for the same day.

Got the puffer test (ugh). Got my eyes dilated. In the initial examination, we learned my left eye is competent, while my right eye is jacked up (everything is blurry with that one). The doctor looked into my eyeballs with a flashlight, tried some stuff with the fancy lens machine, looked at the glasses I brought and determined

I didn't need new lenses. My driving glasses were of good prescription, as were my reading glasses. In other words, I should be wearing both.

Oh. Well, that's not bad news for a $10 visit. No new frames needed. Huzzah!

Settling down in front of the big TV, I realized it was at a distance, so I put on my driving (i.e., distance) glasses and

No headache. Fancy that!

And so all was well in the kingdom.

Until I tried to watch the big TV and crochet at the same time.

Settle into the big chair, get yarn into lap, put on distance specs, watch show. At commercial, take off distance specs, put on reading glasses, play with yarn. Show's back on – take off reading, put on distance, drop yarn work into lap.

Oh, that ain't working.

So it was back to the optometrist for bifocals.

Well, progressives. Because I looked at pictures of bifocals online and they were not aesthetically pleasing. After a few weeks of waiting...Ta-Da! 

 

That's right. All the bigger to hold more lens, my dear.

And that's how I got bifocals (er, progressives) before I turned 40.

Six Months a Temp

It's been little over six months since I started my current temp assignment. What began as a part-time position is now full-time. What was described as entering forms into a database has morphed into the same duties as the permanent admins.

The people remain lovely. And if I wanted to work there as a permanent employee, I could. But

It's not a good idea.

So the search continues for a potentially more satisfying job. I dissected what I enjoyed most in my previous positions, and concluded I should look for junior tech writer or business systems analyst openings. I seem to thrive in these roles.

Now, I don't think I misrepresent myself. But industry and I seem to have different understandings of what tech writers do. What would you call writing data entry reference guides for non-technical end users?

No, seriously. What would you call it? Because if I should to be looking for a different job title, I need to know.

I have had a couple of recruiters call. Encouraging – it's good to be wanted – but confusing. They seem to think it impossible to perform IT roles from outside of the IT department.

In the meantime, I've put everything (i.e., acting) on hold until I can get a better grip on the job front. Hopefully, I'll be able to do some sort of community theatre in the near-to-not-so-far future.

Ah, yes. The Joy of the Job Hunt.

Pom Juice Blends – A Review

There was a 50₵ off coupon for one of the new Pom Juice Blends. An open invitation for a taste test.

Pomegranate is the new cranberry, so it was only a matter of time before Pom (with its bubble bottle, arguably the most visible pomegranate juice maker) started mixing things up.

Regardless of which blend you drink, there is no doubt you are drinking pomegranate juice. The other flavors are discernible in varying degrees.

Pom Mango

40% Pom¹, 40% Mango Puree, according to the label. Based on the list of ingredients, the remaining 20% is 'pear juice and natural flavors'.

First thoughts after initial tasting: This could be good in a smoothie – chunks of mango, Pom Mango juice, yogurt, sugar. . .Hey, I wonder if it would taste different if I did one smoothie with regular Pom and the other with Pom Mango?

In small amounts, the mango is almost overpowered by the pomegranate. Drink more than a sake cup full, and eventually the mango flavor is lost to an acidic aftertaste that favors the pomegranate.

Pom Hula

50% Pom, 30% Pineapple Juice, according to the label. Based on the list of ingredients, the remaining 20% is 'apple juice and natural flavors'.

Was the word "pineapple" too long for the label? But, by calling it Hula, most expect there to be pineapple in it. Still counts as good marketing.

First thoughts after initial tasting: This might be good in a variation of a fruit punch – 7-up, Pom Hula, Rainbow Sherbet²

Huh. Sherbet only has one R. We've always pronounced it with two Rs (sher-bert). The things you learn from spell-check…

Though one can taste pineapple in a sake cup size sample, in larger quantities, it tastes like pomegranate with a sweet acidic nudge.

Pom Coconut

30% Pom, 60% Coconut Water, according to the label. Based on the list of ingredients, the remaining 10% is 'pineapple juice, natural flavors, and stevia extract'. Though, the ingredients also list 'pomegranate and pineapple juices', so I'm a little skeptical of the percentages.

First thoughts after initial tasting:  That's yummy coconut! What is that weird aftertaste?

Now, coconut water is the new açai which was the new pomegranate, so Pom's bringing it full circle with this one. The coconut flavor is strong, down to the nuttiness; I really liked it. But in small doses, the pineapple juice sneaks up and weirds out the flavor. (Makes me wonder why the pineapple's there.) However, in larger amounts, the aftertaste is primarily coconut.

Pom is 1:2 with these blends. Coconut nails it – the flavor is distinct, not masked by the pomegranate. Hula and Mango are disappointing. I wanted more than a hint of the respective flavors - especially mango, which is one of the major food groups³. Don't call it mango unless you mean it.

1. Pom is 100% Pomegranate Juice

2. The original fruit punch is 7-up, pineapple juice, and orange sherbet. And maraschino cherries in 7-up ice cubes. Of course, the variation should also have the 7-up ice cubes.

3. Other major food groups include ice cream, and bread

Cartoon Reviews

Beware the Batman (Cartoon Network)

Alfred is former MI-6? Yes! "Robin" is potentially a girl? Yes! The villains are pure Batman (odd, psychotic, misunderstood monsters, and/or ruthless) and offer ample challenge to Mr. Wayne. The animation is crisp and angular – almost an homage to the art deco styling of the early 90's cartoon.

There's a serial element to the show – A "previously, on Beware the Batman" montage is at the beginning of each episode. Yet thus far, the crime or danger of any given episode is always resolved. They're keeping us satisfied in the short term, and getting us to come back for more. A good addition to the DC Nation.

Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. (Disney XD)

This is the third show in Disney's Marvel Universe, joining Marvel's Avengers Assemble and Ultimate Spiderman (Spiderman works with Nick Fury? Say Whaaat?).

The set up: One of Hulk's friends wants to do a web series to prove to the world that The Hulk is not a monster. In the pilot, we learn how Red Hulk and A-Bomb came to exist, and meet She-Hulk and Skaar. Together, they are. . .see the title of the show

This Hulk is intelligent and aware – Bruce Banner really inhabiting his Hulk form. Though I am a bit surprised at Red Hulk's relative lunk-headedness, given his origin.

Later episodes will likely delve into Skaar's background; I hope they do the same for She-Hulk. From what I could gather, she's Hulk's sister, but the pilot expected us to accept her without any history.

Oh, and S.M.A.S.H. doesn't stand for anything. <sigh + eye roll>.

The web series device provides the opportunity for the characters to express their thoughts (directly to the camera) about the situation at hand. Intercut with the action sequences, it's a nice touch.

Awkward Moment

During the first wave of same-sex marriages in California, I was invited to the wedding of two lesbians. It was a beautiful day, a gorgeous location. Naturally, the brides glowed in their loveliness.

The ceremony began. As the first bride approached the last row of chairs, I stood. Because that's what you do when the bride walks down the aisle.

Everyone else remained seated.

Whaaa. . ??? Why didn't I get the memo?

I thought about sitting down before the second bride started down the aisle, but ruled it out. How rude would that have been, to stand for one person and sit for the other? I decided being disrespectful was worse than being ridiculous.

And let's be honest. I'm ridiculous more often than not.