What would Prince have said?
********************
First there was Pedro Erik Villanueva, a teenager shot to death
by CHP officers in unmarked cars. It is unclear is whether the teenager knew
they were law enforcement, whether they at any time announced themselves.
Then there was Alton Sterling, and confusion about why the
sight of a gun in a waistband, inaccessible to the suspect, justifies drawing a
weapon and pulling the trigger. Coming out of the numbness, I concluded the
officer involved would use the Mehserle Defense (I meant to pull my Taser)
should he be indicted or go to trial.
No time to breath because Philando Castile. My fear of being
shot when obeying a directive came true in his death. He did everything right. They
did everything right. And the officer was willing to put a child in danger by
shooting into the car, willing to shoot someone who was obeying the law and
respecting his authority simply because
Three, no four, no five Dallas law enforcement officers
murdered in the midst of peaceful protest. Damn
it, this is not helping! The heartbreak. One more giant step backwards.
********************
I understand if your Facebook posts and Twitter feed and
what not are all puppies and kittens and rainbows and children and recipes and
whatever seemingly benign things and have nothing do to with the tragedies of
the past few days
the past few weeks
the year to date.
I get it.
Every time we begin to grieve, every time we start to move
down the familiar paths of healing, we are slammed again. We can't breathe.
********************
Ugh. First I had to add locking my door to the list. Now I
have to figure out how to use Facebook Live in the event I'm pulled over.
<sigh>
********************
I see how you felt about the week.
How in the aftermath of Alton Sterling's murder, your posts
were kvetching about politics.
How in the aftermath of Philando Castile's murder there was
silence.
How in the wake of the Dallas law enforcement murders, you
posted condolences and outrage at regular intervals. For Dallas and Dallas
alone.
By this you have shown me that you believe not all deaths
are equal, that some are more tragic, some people more worthy than others.
By this you have shown me you don't believe #AllLivesMatter.
You have shown me you don't value me or my life.
********************
If Micah Xavier Johnson is a terrorist, then so is Dylan
Roof. If Dylan Roof is not a terrorist, then neither is Micah Xavier Johnson. They
are the same side of the same coin.
********************
This is where I am at the moment: The sadness and pain of seeing people I know who had previously been
silent speak/post/meme solely about Dallas, ignoring the other tragedies as if they
did not happen.
It's not a betrayal, really. Just a recognition, a
remembrance of how unlovable and unworthy most of the world believes me to be
because of my ethnicity.
I had forgotten. There are people I know
people I went to school with or worshipped with in church or
worked alongside,
people I see regularly on Facebook or Twitter or in person,
people who know my name
who will hug me on sight
and yet see me as less than.
**********
I know what you're going to say - it goes both ways. There
are some who talked and talked about Sterling and Castile, but said nothing
about the Dallas law enforcement officers.
Not quite.
The history of unjustifiable murder by law enforcement is deep;
the ramifications of which comprise the egg shell dance floor many of us still
tiptoe upon, despite our freedom. This is the weight of history, a hay bale
teetering ominously on a dromedary's back.
Sniper attacks on law enforcement? No hay bale, no dromedary
in sight. There is not that kind of history; there is not that kind of pain.
The two types of tragedies are not equal in this regard.
Where they ARE equal is their horribleness. None of these
deaths are justified. None of them.
********************