My First Music Audition

A director I work with said, one of the best things for an actor to do is to work with as many different directors as possible. So I've been scouting theatre groups. I inquired about something I noticed on one's website

and was asked to audition. More specifically, to sing an upbeat contempo song and do a comedic monologue.

I was Thrilled. Confused. Terrified.

They want me to audition!

Wait –they know I'm a novice, right?

Oh no. They want me to sing. (Some of you have seen me karaoke.)

Yep. The sum total of emotions was terrified. But I was determined to face my fear. I would sing a song in front of people. And I would smile while doing it.

First, to make sure I understood what an uptempo song was. (Thank you, Internet.) Then, to verify my choice with a musician I know. After which, instrumental music acquired for practice. (iTunes got the hook up, yo.) A quick question to the auditioner – iPod okay? Nope – sheet music. Panic. Some direction on how to find my key and order music… scurrying in an unsuccessful attempt to verify my guesstimate …and prayer. Lots and lots of prayer.

Then there was the comedic monologue. Some books from the library, some scanning for the funny bone to be tickled. It was a challenge. Comedy is hard, and I'm not a naturally funny person. That is; when I try to be funny, it's often disastrous. But my accidental puns are golden.

The day of my audition was one of calm. It reminded me of midterms: while everyone else was cramming in panic, I was doing the crossword.

Naturally, I got lost on the way. None of the distractingly beautiful buildings seemed to have visible address numbers. I took one of two available parking spaces and lo and behold, it was right in front of the building I was looking for. Thanks, God.

The pianist was not great with my music, which was awkward. I have no doubt he is an excellent musician – I blame the sheet music I brought. I did the best I could, singing and smiling and moving a bit. I tried to act without losing the lyrics. Closed my eyes to hit the high note. (Which I didn't really hit, but I didn't crack, either.) When I finished, I realized I was having fun. I was sort of sad it was over.

Next was what turned out to be my least favorite part of the audition. The monologue. It wasn't an unmitigated disaster – I got a chuckle here and there. But it wasn't fun. I know right? I like acting, you'd think it would be down with a monologue. But one of the things I like about acting is the interaction. I had no actor to bounce off of or talk to. C'est la vie, but it was kinda horrible.

Then we (there were five of us) were asked to harmonize on a little number. Umm…You   You want that I should stay on key? I tried, I really did. I suspect I was unsuccessful. But I enjoyed everyone else's voices. It all sounded so beautiful.

Finally, a dance routine. Most fun of the night. I failed miserably. Enjoyed every second. Face screwed up in concentration, trying to remember the moves we were taught. Attempting to act it out, not simply dance. You know how you extroverts feel after a party, all jazzed and ready to post a gazillion updates or call your friends to gab some more? That's how I felt when I drove home after the audition. (Science nerds, shh! I know it was just the adrenaline from (literally) jumping up and down. I'm takin' the feel good feeling regardless of the cause.)

I haven't heard back yet, but I was pleased with my performance. I was not terrified singing a song in front of a panel of people. I'm actually eager to try it again. If I get a part, it's gravy.

Artsy Craftsy

I watch HGTV and DIY Network. I know you can spray paint anything. I thought I'd try to do two frames.

From purchase

To sanded

To primed

To painted

Voila!

Turns out I didn't need to sand the backs of the frames. The hardest part was getting the latch hooks into the frames. Despite my measurements, the car gave me trouble. I eventually smashed it in there, but it seems vewy vewy fwagile. No, I don't know why that came out like Elmer Fudd. Got anything you want me to spray paint?

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Have you been to JoAnn's? Home of fabric, yarn, jewelry making/scrapbook/cake decorating stuff? They also have classes. I've taken several.

First, knitting. Two needles, one ball of yarn, two stitches, infinite possibilities. What I learned from my practice runs

knit with jail bars...a new motif?

Aim for a 4 x 4 square, get a micro halter top?

Or the beginnings of an apron?

  

And my first project

It's supposed to be a dishcloth. A rectangular dishcloth. With sharp, 90 degree corners.
 

Is that my superpower is the ability to add and drop stitches unawares.

Now I'm on my first scarf. A simple garter stitch to finish off a ball of yarn. I hope it's long enough for me to wear.

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Crocheting was hard at first. It took me 30 minutes to tie the knot that starts the thing off. And with only one implement, my hand had to be steady and supply the right amount of tension. I left the class with this

Stitch sampler. Now if I can only remember what the stitches are...

I've since discovered it's easier to crochet on an airplane (or in the airport) than to knit. One tool, some yarn, and go go go. I found a project online that led me to make these beauties

Pot holder 1

Pot Holder 2

Now it's on to a scarf. And the daunting task of counting 224 chain stitches. I might have to modify the pattern a bit.

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So quilting  is  work. Cut fabric. Iron. Pin. Sew. Press out seams. Sew. Press out seams. Sew. Press out seams. The challenges were finding a way to have the hot iron and my sewing machine accessible and in the same room. And sewing the seam correctly, keeping it to a quarter inch.

I like the result. And I have just enough information to turn old clothes into a patchwork of something. I have a lot of cutting, pressing, pinning and sewing ahead of me.

Jane Eyre

I finally got around to seeing the 2011 film adaptation of Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre, starring Mia Wasikowska, Michael Fassbender, and Jamie Bell.

First off, have you read the book? If you have, you know that Mr. Rochester is. . . not really a looker. Go to IMBD.com and scroll through all of the film adaptations. Not a mugly Mr. Rochester among them. Makes it a bit weird when that line of dialogue refers to his unattractiveness. In film, Mr. Rochester is always brooding and always handsome. A general observation.

This most recent adaptation reminded me of the Deathly Hallows movies. I wondered if folks who had not read the last Harry Potter book fully understood what was going on.

Jane Eyre is a simpler story, but there was still room for confusion. When Jane first runs away from Thornfield, she's carrying a bag. We next see her desperate and hopeless on the rocks of the moor, with nothing but her cloak. Where'd the bag go?

What really confused me was a shot of Jane lying in bushes. It's dramatic, but disconcerting. Wehre did these bushes come from? How did she get there? What happened to the rocks?

I enjoyed the use of flashbacks to tell the meat of the story. Though the main action with Rochester is such a long flashback, you may be startled when there's a change. And the cinematography is sumptuous, as required for such period pieces.

But it's a slow movie. I was engaged because I was measuring it against my memory of the story. Without such a yardstick, the pace might be too glacial for you. So read the book first, then see whether you like how the movie tells it.

Travelogue: Florida in September

Why Florida?, you ask?

Still the look of puzzlement. Yes, I know I live roughly 8 hours away from a perfectly good Legoland Resort. But the friends I visited live in Florida, so there I went.

When you enter a Legoland, do not underestimate the tons of cool stuff made of Legos. From baskets of strawberries in a café to these guys

to this guy, who actually makes noise

to this sweetie, hiding in plain sight.

You could spend all of your time wandering the park looking at the trove of amazing Lego sculptures.

I know! They must change this every four to eight years!

Legoland Florida is built on the site of the former Cypress Gardens, Florida's first amusement park. Despite the two life size Lego Southern Belles, the garden feels a little out of place. In addition to a Banyan tree, you'll find these

Cypress nubs...and trees

And this

Wait, what?

 

And, if you're patient, this little one

That's right folks. Legoland Florida is in Alligator Territory.

Why would anyone want to. . .?

The next morning, I saw a rainbow, and this nursery rhyme came to mind:

Rainbow at night is a sailor's delight

Rainbow at morning, sailor take warning!

Rain came as expected. We went to Disney's Animal Kingdom anyway.

It was so beautiful, the lush foliage and the rain. A casual glance to the right and there are birds! Not birds you would normally see. Beautiful, shouldn't-you-be-in-a-zoo-behind-some-wire-because-you're-so-pretty-birds.

And the safari! The scripted nonsense about rickety bridges and being lost could've been done away with. We had to STOP while a giraffe crossed in front of the truck. We were feet away, at most several yards, from all of the animals. Seeing them was a magnificence that needed no enhancement.

There are sections called Africa and Asia. In the latter, ladies invite who ever will to come try some Indian dance moves. In the former, there's an actual band. In both places people randomly dance. (I loved seeing the couple doing salsa to Paul Simon.)

Yes, Disney is expensive. Still, spend your money at the Tusker House Restaurant. It's a buffet with all things good and tasty. You want samosas and plantains and jollof rice and a wicked good curry chicken? They got you. Lox? Prime Rib? Corn dog nuggets? They got you. Lemon bars, volcano cake, banana bread pudding, fruit cobbler, baklava, chocolate chip cookies? Don't fill up on dinner.

Oh, but the travel wasn't all fun and games. I brought instant oatmeal and my favorite teas so I could eat breakfast in the hotel room. Because eating out is expensive and every hotel room has a coffee maker, right?

Apparently not. Though it could be had for an extra $10 a night. . .

The flights were fine, despite being full. Some air travel related musings:

There's a Jamba Juice in the Oakland Airport?! Why am I the last one to learn about these things?

I know it's morning, but I would eat sweet potato fries from Burger King right now.

Ooo, Pappas Burger has sweet potato fries. I must be in Texas because they only sell ½ pound burgers.

With well cooked bacon and barbeque sauce, I can be induced to eat a quarter pound of burger….

Um, this is Florida. Why are these in the airport shop?

When the snack box first came around, I took a bag of pretzels. Is that all you want? The flight attendant asked. I can have more than one? I replied with child-like wonder. The result was this delicious combination of sweet and salty:

And bubbly. That's Ginger Ale in the cup.

Have you ever had Cheese Nips? They're imitation Cheez-Its – square, orange, and nasty. I correctly surmised shrinking them down to 100 calories and planing them into thins would not improve their flavor.

Yes, I ate the entire bag. I was that hungry

 

After the 100 calorie Cheese Nips, I was skeptical of the 100 calorie Chips Ahoy thins. But they are surprisingly yummy. I would eat them again, maybe even if there was something else for me to choose.

When in doubt, always go with Lorna Doone! Unless you can't have too much sugar

Ah Florida.  With your too hot to handle mugginess and your cooling rain showers,

I'd visit again.

An Anniversary

September 11^th was a Tuesday.

I watched the news that morning as I ate breakfast.

I saw the plane go into the second tower. Stunned, shocked, horrified, I went to work.

We huddled around the tv, analyzing targets and flight paths, watching commentary, on edge.

We were sent home. Fortunately, the bridge was still open, and someone was able to drive a few of us home.

It reminded me of a common aspect of biblical battles. Then, the goal was to take a people's leader, army, and gods. I concluded that was what the terrorists were trying to do, having targeted the White House (our leader), the Pentagon (our army) and the Twin Towers (our gods).

Not that the towers themselves were America's gods. But didn’t that Manhattan skyline often represent our love of Money and Stuff?

I sought to escape the never ending news analysis, a challenge without cable. That weekend, a PBS station aired the History of Rock & Roll without pledge breaks. I drank hot chocolate, ate tortilla chips, and stayed sane.

For a month, I didn’t' wear my slippers while at home. I wore tennis shoes. I had to be prepared.

My next few times on an airplane, I paid rapt attention to the flight attendant. I noted the exits, and how to open the doors. I carefully read the laminated procedures in the seat pocket. I had to be prepared.

Now, I read the newspaper in the morning. I'm late to learning the news in the world.

Now, my version of panic is putting my phone, id, keys and credit cards into my pockets, lest I have to leave my purse behind. I have to be prepared.

For many, the dredging of memory occurred last year, the ten year anniversary. I shrugged.

Because September 11^th was a Tuesday.

My eBay Garage Sale

This was my plan. I've got a bunch of stuff. Why don't I sell it on eBay? I'll take pictures, buy a scale so I can estimate shipping. . . put all my stuff on an eBay page, title it Edem's Garage Sale. . .people can come and browse and buy my stuff. It was a brilliant plan.

Except eBay doesn’t work that way.

You can only list 10 items at a time. And the listing time is limited.

And if you sell some but not all of your items during the listing period, it reduces the number of items you can list or re-list. That is, not only is there a 10 item list limit, you can only sell 10 items per month.

The first week I listed 10 items on eBay, I sold 3. This meant I could list 7 items the next week. I sold one from that batch. Which left me 6 slots for the next week. And so on. It's a bit confusing, I know.

Still, I was excited to sell 10 items my first month on eBay. I had listed a total of 25 – a 40% sale rate! That's pretty good, eh? (This second month, I've only sold 6 out of 18…I'm slippin'.)

The hardest part about selling on eBay is the shipping. Even with the scale, I was still over- and under- charging. I've since learned to weigh an item in its packaging before I list it.

See, anything under 13 ounces is First Class. And the packaging – even a seemingly weightless envelope – makes a difference. Not much ($3.14 vs $3.30), but I'd rather not overcharge if I can help it.

Then there's Priority Mail. The cheapest is the $5.15 flat rate envelope or small box. . .but nothing I sell is small and heavy. Then there are the rest of the flat rate boxes - $11.35 for medium, $15.45 for the large. Perfect for heavy things. But most of my stuff would go in a plain Priority box or envelope. Those start at around $5.30, with the actual price depending on weight and destination.

Of course, one doesn't know an item's destination until said item is sold.

It's a bit of an investment, selling on eBay. There's the time for taking decent photos (and the discipline not to run out and buy a fancy camera). There's describing the item – the brand, material, color, dimensions…whatever will help a buyer know what they're getting. There's buying the shipping materials.

You've gotta be motivated to keep doing this thing.

Olympic Musings

It's not too late for these, right?

About the Opening Ceremony

Hey! I know that song (Bread of Heaven). But we sing it very differently where I'm from.

Hey! It's Kenneth Brannaugh! I don't know what he's saying, but it must be Shakespeare. Because it's Kennth Brannaugh!

ONE  RING  TO  RULE  THEM  ALL

Shh! It's 80's music! Stop commentating!

We love you J. K. Rowling.

Pobre Paul. I ain't mad atcha. Bring back the Arctic Monkeys.

About the Broadcast, Etc.

DVR + NBC Prime Time = Good watching. Because I don't need to see every beach volleyball match.

Am I the only one who doesn't care about the medal count?

What do you mean this is the first time the US Olympic Team's outfits were made in China?

Lots of complaints about Ralph Lauren but no complaints about the Nike, whose gear our folks wear in the pool and on the track. None of it was made in the US, and Nike is as American as Ralph Lauren.

Oh, NBC. Why the 30 minute documentary about the Dream Team when you could've been showing us synchronized swimming? That's what I get for watching prime time coverage "live".

I am enjoying this hour of WWII history. Because I'm a nerd. But how are you going to transition from this sad to the happy of the Olympics? (Yes, NBC, I still think you should've shown synchronized swimming instead.)

About Diving

Thank you, NBC, for starting most of your prime time coverage with diving.

Is it me, or do some of the younger male divers need to pull up their trunks a bit? I'm looking at you, Tom Daly, Kristian Ibsen.

¡Viva Mexico! Who knew they were so good at this sport?

Seriously, though. I love you, Tom Daly. Please pull up your shorts.

About Women's Gymnastics

Ugh! The cameras are all up in their faces! Go away, go away (ironically, the only reason we see that the cameras are all up in the ladies faces is because   of a camera   all up   in the ladies faces.)

NBC. I know you love your super tight close up. But we do not need to see the contents a gymnast's nostril right before she does a complex run on the balance beam.

Of the people who have criticized Gabby Douglas' hair, how many of them actually know anything about black hair? Exactly. That's the sound of ignorance spouting foolishness.

Oops, my bad. Apparently quite a few know something about black hair. Great. Add trifling crabs in a barrel to my people's list of stereotypes.

I almost zipped past it. Did you see the gymnast from Bulgaria, who only does rings? Gray hair, Age 39(?), shaking hands with everyone when he got off the floor? Amazing.

About Swimming

Kromowidjojo. You know saying it makes you happy.

Michael Phelps is "The Greatest Olympian of All Time". Until Missy Franklin takes the crown.

I don't think one is great because of medal count. It is an achievement; props to Michael. But I hear the moniker and think of Dara Torres at the Beijing Olympics. Before one race, she asked an official to wait because one of her competitors wasn't ready. I think that type of sportsmanship is a better measure for determining "The Greatest Olympian".

You know a race is long when they come back from commercial and they're still swimming.

About Track & Field

What's with the fluorescent yellow shoes?

Seems like ½ the female sprinters have belly button studs.

Need ideas for baby names? Watch Olympic Track & Field. Particularly the field events.

You know it was a good year – I didn't even fast forward through the semi-finals. Only a little bit for some of the long distance races.

Closing Ceremony

Yay! George Michael! And one of my favorite songs at that!

Huh. None of the Annie Lennox/Eurythmics songs I know would've been happy enough for this occasion. Not even Sweet Dreams.

I Am The Walrus is the Beatles song everyone knows but me.

Wait. I recognize Naomi, and Kate Moss, and that lady from the WSJ magazine article who's in her 40s. But who are the other models? What are their names?

How are they gonna clear that giant octopus?

Nice Rolls, Jessie J.

Flesh colored body suit #1, with flowers – No.

Wait – there's a Vegas showgirl in the 1900s? Oh, never mind, it's Monty Python.

Play that guitar, homeboy from Queen!

Flesh colored body suit #2, with sequins – Better.

No, no, no Jessie J, don't air guitar. Don't. <sigh> Please stop.

I think someone dropped a line on Wannabe.

Wow. Rugby clubs have choirs.

Stop talking, commentators! I'm trying to watch the Brazilians dance!

Is that dude in…white face?

Is mack daddy wearing a white vinyl suit?

Ooo, has this part been Bossa Nova?

Bob Costas spent half the night talking about how The Who would be performing….and NBC never televised their set. Boo!

Federal Jury Duty

The summons declared I was on call for a week – July 2^nd through July 16^th. We were to call or check the website on July 1^st to get our reporting instructions.

On June 30^th, I received a call reminding me to check my reporting instructions the next day. The Feds don't play.

I checked for my reporting instructions on July 1^st. Not called; please check back after 5pm on July 2^nd.

I checked for my reporting instructions on July 2^nd. Not called; please check back after 5pm on July 5^th.

I checked for my reporting instructions on July 5^th. Not called; please check back after 5pm on July 9^th.

I checked for my reporting instructions on July 9^th. Not called; please check back after 5pm on July 11^th.

I checked for my reporting instructions on July 11^th. Surprise! Be at the courthouse at 8am on July 12^th!

Missed it by that much.

Challenge #1 – what to wear. San Francisco is approximately 20 degrees cooler than the Tri-Valley, where I live and work. And there would be air conditioning. What could wear so I wouldn't freeze in one place and melt in the other?

Ah, the beauty and bane of the Bay Area. Serious microclimates.

The nice thing about the West Dublin/Pleasanton BART station is that if you want to catch a 6:30am train, there's plenty of parking.

The bad thing is that the add fare/parking payment machine doesn’t take credit cards. I know. It's madness.

If you don't have cash for parking, you need to add a dollar to the ticket you buy. Then put the ticket in the parking payment machine. It'll take off the $1, and voila! You'll be squared away.

I did not realize the Asian Art museum was so close to the Civic Center Bart Station. Another field trip to plan…

Naturally, entering the federal court building is like going through security at the airport. Only you don't have to take off your shoes. And the people seem nicer.

WiFi in the courthouse. That's how you do it.

The jury administrator was fast talking, informative, and entertaining. Do you know why being summoned for federal court is better than being summoned for state court? Even if you're not picked, you still get paid for your trouble. Thank you, US Government.

There were something like 73 of us who made it into the courtroom. I could guess which jurors the attorneys would excuse. When the time came, it was like what we learned of game theory in business school – each side weighing the stated choice against the anticipated one.

I never made it to the jury box. I was a little disappointed – I've never been on a jury before – but also quite relieved. As the day wore on, it became clear how big a responsibility it is to be fair and impartial, and to listen only to the evidence presented. I could do it…but I'd worry about being imperfect.